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Grizzly
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| The Basics |
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Title: Grizzly Shadow's Title: "Unbearable" Content Guide: |
Single sentence synopsis: Quick buy:
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| Walk-Thru |
First up we see Paramount studios’ mountain and stars logo, since they distributed this film. Then we get the Film Ventures International logo, and I’m gonna assume that this was the independent outfit responsible for actually making this movie. Finally we open on an outdoor scene, somewhere in the American Northwest (I'm guessing on that last part, as the film was shot in Georgia). We see a wide field ringed by tall evergreens and dotted with the occasional bush or smaller tree. The sky overhead is blue and devoid of any clouds. There are no strong winds to stir up trouble of any sort and the calm, relaxed sounds of birds going about their every day leisure activities can be heard. In other words, all is idyllic and peaceful. It seems the perfect place to escape the hustle and bustle of modern life, especially the loud and ugly sounds of civilization. Indeed, I can almost feel a nap coming on… BOOM!!! With a sudden jolt, a helicopter comes roaring onscreen, racing through the air just feet above the ground and threading its way between the tall trees. There goes the neighborhood! Alas, there also goes the peace and quiet. Hell, that helicopter came roaring onscreen so unexpectedly as well as so loudly, that I nearly dropped my soda! Denizens of the forest realm are no doubt pissed that good old Homo Sapiens has once again invaded their turf, dropping trash and property values as they go. Piloting the helicopter is Don Stober, who is playing aerial chauffeur for a couple of senators. He’s espousing his opinion that urban sprawl and “civilization” is beginning to encroach too much on the wilderness below, and that the government ought to step in and do something. After he has covered all the talking points on his environmentalist memo, we get another exterior shot of the chopper and the music swells as the credits begin to unfold. While the cast and crew names appear on screen, we are treated to numerous beautiful shots of the landscape from the helicopter in addition to some that feature the vehicle in the foreground. Aside from a mildly ominous tone when the film’s title appears, the music during this entire sequence makes me think I may have accidentally tuned in to an episode of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins. Oh, by the way...those senators play no part in this film and will not be seen nor heard from again. After a few minutes of the aerial footage, we finally come down to Earth and see a hideous station wagon (of the hideous 70’s variety and in those hideous 70’s colors) that appears to be driven by a female forest ranger. Next we see the Indian Springs Trading Post, where business appears to be booming. I mean it! The crowds of people milling around, checking out the merchandise, taking photos and preparing to enter the nearby entrance to the National Park must number somewhere around fifty thousand. Ok, that is an exaggeration and I will admit it, but there still seems to be an unusually large amount of people in the area. I’d almost think that someone was giving away free bongs to the first five hundred campers. Either that or the Green Party is holding a rally nearby. Perhaps it’s both! Oh, nevermind. That hideous station wagon eventually makes its way into the park, down a road and to the Ranger Station, remarkably without the female driver hitting anything. She parks, jumps out and then runs over to a small group of assembled people. Ranger Michael Kelly looks at her and jokes about her tardiness, but she says that she wouldn’t miss one of his briefings for the world. Why is that? Does he pass out beer and smokes or something? Launching into his briefing, Kelly talks about how this is the biggest post-season crowd the park has ever seen. With the skeleton crew they have, the Rangers just will not be able to keep track of the high number of backpackers in the park (I told you there seemed to be an unusually large amount of people in town!). Kelly tells them that they will just have to try and that everyone is expected to go out on patrol. With that he dismisses everyone, saying that as they all know where they need to go, they should get to it. Uh…what was so special about that briefing? He didn’t tell any jokes, pass out smokes or provide munchies! As everyone disperses, Ranger Gail (the one who was driving the hideous car) approaches Kelly and apologizes for being late. Then Ranger Tom saunters over and informs Kelly that he is heading up to “R4.” Gail suggests that she accompany Tom, as it is “really loaded up there.” Loaded with what? Campers? Hikers? Tree-hugging hippies? What?! Tom admits that he could use the help, but Kelly smirks and says that since some dork named Hayes has called in sick, he is going to need Gail to hold down the fort at the station. Continuing to smirk because he is on to their game, Kelly walks away. Tom looks at Gail and says, “we tried.” They make plans to meet up for dinner and then head in different directions. Before we go any further, something tells me that these two particular Rangers have been making excuses to work with one another solely for the opportunity to engage in a few rounds of bumpin’ fuzzies. We now head over to some type of restaurant, inn or lodge where an older guy is busy ordering around a couple of the young female employees. As he puts it, the season may be over, but that is no reason to let up. Sheesh, what a slave driver! He pauses long enough to light up a pipe. A pipe! Now I know he’s an asshole, as only pretentious assholes smoke pipes! As he’s toking away like the contents of his pipe may be something other than tobacco, a young woman with a hideous haircut walks up. Did you notice how I used the word hideous again? I have a feeling that word is going to be popping up a lot in this review. There is just no better word for me to use when it comes to describing the decade’s aesthetics. I may have lived during that time, but good god the styles for everything in the 1970’s were just so craptacular. I’m even embarrassed to look at old photos of myself and the nightmare that I called a head of hair. I won’t even mention the downright ghastly colors my shirts and pants were. It’s a wonder I made it through the decade without requiring therapy. Hmmm? Oh, yes…the movie…. So Miss Hideous Hair walks up to Mister Bossy (known from this point on as Allison and Walter Corwin, respectively) whom she calls dad, and shows him a bunch of papers. He asks what they are and she replies that she believes that they are unpaid bills. He says he must have misplaced them and promises to get on them as soon as possible. Then she brings up the wine list and gets on his case for charging too little in comparison for what he is paying. What a nag (and just like a broad to have her knickers in a twist over money)! He accuses of her trying to run his business and she tries to deny it, but then smiles in admission. Then she wipes at his coat lapels, as if brushing away crumbs and states that every man needs a helping hand. Could she get any more condescending? Her little gesture, coupled with how she says it, makes it appear as if she expects every male on the planet to starve if a woman wasn’t there to cook his meals. Ok…that was a bad example. Maybe she thinks that without a lady in the house, men would just keep wearing the same old clothes day in a day ou…nope, that one doesn’t work either. You know what I mean! Mr. Corwin has evidently had enough and gently reminds her that she came to the area to shoot pictures and not check in on her father’s business. She informs him that she is progressing nicely, and that she only has thirty or forty more pictures to go. She even convinced her publisher to wait. I guess that means all those photos are for a book.
As she is blathering on, Ranger Kelly enters and calls out her name. He suggests that she write a “how to” book, in particular, one entitled How to Avoid Responsibility. This reminds her that she was supposed to meet him and has completely forgotten about it. No, she was too busy trying to boss her father around. Kelly takes her by the arm and leads her out, Mr. Corwin smiling behind them. Outside, we are then treated to a boring ass conversation, where Kelly accuses her of being spoiled and irresponsible, and she claims that she is that way because her father needs her. Kelly doesn’t buy it and thinks that her dad can get by just fine on his own. He adds that she should worry less about her old man and more about herself. She assures him that has always been able to “get it together.” The funny thing about this entire exchange is how civil they are toward one another despite the nature of the conversation. Hell, they are even smiling as they speak. Around my house growing up, verbal interludes like that were routinely accompanied by yelling, screaming, hair pulling, fist-pounding, door-slamming, foot-stomping, object-throwing and ultimatums being bandied about. And that was just arguing over control of the TV! You don’t even want to know how things went when it got bad. I know what you’re thinking right about now. You’re thinking, “Wait! Isn’t this movie supposed to be about a killer Grizzly bear and not Georgia-possibly-Pacific Northwest morons with bad hair?” Well, you would be right, and despite dragging its ass in doing so, the movie has finally reached the point were the title creature is going to put in an appearance quite soon. Thus we dissolve away from those two morons and focus on two new morons out in the woods. These two both happen to be women and they are returning to their campsite after a long hike – “at least ten miles” according to one of them. The strange thing is, neither of them appears to be outfitted for a long hike. Neither is carrying anything on them – no canteens of water, no backpack with food, no tools or emergency supplies of any kind. This only confirms that they are idiots. Who goes for a ten mile (at least) hike with only the clothes they are wearing?! Geez, I am not the world’s most experienced outdoorsman by any stretch of the imagination, but even I would not undertake such a task without carrying along a few essentials like water, food and a some basic tools. At least these two morons had the good sense to actually wear boots rather than stomping through the forest in their sneakers…though from what I can see of their camping skills, I wouldn’t put such behavior past them. So Dumb and Dumber march into their campsite, where one eases to the ground and voices aloud the need to remove her boots. Now there is one of nature’s smells I don’t need to experience. Too bad she didn’t feel the need to remove her shirt. This movie could use some gratuitous bare boobies right about now (and we’re only nine minutes in). The other broad drops to her knees and tends the burning fire. WHAT?! A burning fire? Where the hell did that come from? These two have been gone for the better part of the day on their ten mile (at least) hike. Any fire they left burning when they set out should have gone out hours ago. Yet here it is, still burning. And it’s not even a big fire! Just a handful of small pieces of wood no bigger than one’s arm. Don’t even get me started on the sheer irresponsibility of leaving a fire burning unattended for hours in the woods. It’s a miracle that they didn’t burn down half the forest. Either someone has stopped by on a regular basis to stoke the fire as well as prevent it from spreading, or those logs are from one the fabled Duraflame variety of tree. Of course, it is entirely plausible that both women are somehow related to Barry Allen or Wally West. If so, then they probably just left the campsite about two minutes ago to embark on their hike. Given that one is wearing a pink shirt while the other sports a red one, I will refer to them as Pink and Red. As the two sit there conversing, the snap of a twig can be heard beyond the nearby trees. The music takes an ominous turn as they take note of the sound and one of them firmly proclaims that “there is something out there.” Well, duh. We focus on the trees and suddenly there emerges…Ranger Tom on horseback. He tells them to not take any risks in this “tricky area” and asks when they plan on leaving. They tell him as soon as they eat they’re gonna head out. He now reminds them to check in with the ranger station on their way out of the area. They assure him they will be gone before it gets dark, then Ranger Tom turns and leaves. The way the two smile at him, you’d think they’d been out in the wilderness for months and he was the first man they’d seen in a long time. Now we see a wide shot of the countryside. As the camera slowly begins to zoom in on the trees, the sounds of various forest creatures can be heard in the background. Then the view switches to a POV shot of something moving through the trees. Something that is breathing quite heavily. Something BIG…and it ain’t Hurley from Lost. Let’s face it, we all know it’s a bear. Soon, the voices of the two female campers can be heard, so the POV begins moving in that direction. Let me point out that the POV shots make it appear that whatever is moving about in the woods, its gaze seems to be at about the same height as an average human’s. Returning to Pink and Red, we see them both sitting by the fire, having completed their meal. They decide to start packing things up, but Pink announces her need to go take a crap and walks off into the trees after retrieving a roll of toilet paper from a pack, leaving Red on her own. This is where you can insert your own bear/woods/shit joke. Some more POV shots follow and we soon see that the bear has come upon the campsite. Sadly for Red, she is turned away from the newcomer. The POV shot suddenly raises as if the bear has now stood up on its hind legs. Going by the new angle at which the animal is looking at Red, we must conclude that the bear is indeed the eighteen feet in height the ads proclaimed it to be.
The bear drops back to all fours (at least, according to the POV it does) and walks into camp. Red is so busy, she doesn’t notice the bear at first, but then she hears a sound. She calls out to her friend but of course there is no answer. She turns around just as the bear walks up to her and the next thing we know, a real cheesy-looking fake paw swings through the air. Instantly Red’s severed arm flies through the air to land in a bloody heap. Another swipe of the fake paw and Red is divested of her other arm (really, it’s just a flesh wound). Not too far away, Miss Pink hears all the commotion and comes running. I’m guessing she didn’t get the chance to pinch one off, as her pants are pulled up and she is not running awkwardly. Back in camp, I’m not sure what is going on. We see a close-up of Red’s face as she writhes and screams, but it appears that she is moving, as a tree in the background is quite obviously getting larger and closer. I’m not sure if the bear has grabbed her and is running with her, or the camera is just following Red as she flies through the air. Whatever the case, there is one final swipe of the fake paw and we see Red’s dead form hanging from a tree, her face torn open. Again, I’m not sure what has transpired here. Did the bear lift her up and place her in the tree, or did that last blow from the fake paw knock her ass up into the tree? Pink how arrives on the disarming scene (groan), and seeing her pal in several pieces and a seriously pissed off bear nearby, she bolts. Not that we see the bear at this point. It still has been represented on screen solely by that fake-ass paw. However, I now think I have figured out why the bear is in a murderous rage. These two broads almost burned down the forest with their unattended fire. This particular ursine is part of Smokey the Bear’s Fire Brigade! At least, part of a vigilante group that has broken away from that organization and condones the use of violence when dealing with possible arsonists. Anyway, Pink now begins to haul ass…and promptly falls flat on her face after three whole steps. She picks herself up and continues to run. Several shots of her barreling through the trees now ensue, until she reaches an old shack in a small clearing. Barely pausing (or is that bearly?), she heads on in and slams the door behind her. Breathing heavily from her run, she tries to catch her breath, but a sudden roar and a fake paw bursting through the wooden panels of the shack's walls puts an end to that. We see that paw take another swipe at the shack and I could swear that over half of the tiny building collapsed. Pink tries to cower in the corner but it appears that the collapse has made it possible for the bear to squeeze inside enough to take another swing at her. This third swipe connects and we get a slow motion shot of her head recoiling from the blow with her final scream echoing on and on and on. Even after we see an exterior shot of the outdoors, that scream can be heard reverberating across the landscape. Now we return to Ranger Kelly and Allison. They’re parked out somewhere in the woods. She’s walking around taking photos while he drags on a cigarette. Please, god in heaven tell me that these two didn’t just finish the horizontal mambo. There is some inane banter between these two that is best forgotten. Then a green truck pulls up with Ranger Tom in it. Evidently he’s upgraded his horse. Kelly asks where he is going and Tom answers that he is heading back up to “R4.” He explains that they have some missing girls that told him earlier that they’d be down before dark, but they have yet to arrive. Kelly notes that it will soon be dark and asks Allison if she wants to go up to R4 with Tom. She says yes, so they decide to follow Tom up to the area in question. They arrive near an old shack, which I am assuming is the same shack in which Miss Pink tried to hide earlier (quite futilely if I may add). Tom informs Kelly that the girls had been camped in the trees about a hundred to a hundred fifty yards past the dilapidated structure, and the head ranger decides they should all walk in and check things out. The three begin stomping into the woods, but Kelly calls a halt and says that he wants to investigate the shack before going any further. He walks up to the front door and tries to open it, but it is locked. Pushing and leaning on it doesn’t help, either (odd, cuz as we all know, when a lock fails to release, applying pressure always does the trick). Next he walks around the side and notices that one entire wall is pretty much gone. Indeed, remembering the flying debris depicted just a couple minutes ago when the bear busted into the place and I am surprised any of it is still standing. He enters the interior and is looking around when an object suddenly falls from the ceiling to land at his feet: the bloody corpse of Miss Pink. I want to know what she was hanging from? Better yet, how did she get up there? Did the bear carefully place her in the rafters before exiting the premises in an attempt at covering its tracks? The next thing we know it is dark and the woods are crawling with rangers armed with flashlights and conducting a search for the other missing camper. At the campsite, Allison is using her skill with a camera to take photos and help document the scene. Strangely enough, the campfire is still burning. Was it burning all this time, or did the searchers get it going again in order to heat up coffee for themselves? No one has found anything that points to the whereabouts of the missing girl and Kelly says that in all likelihood, they are not looking for a full body. I’m beginning to think this bear has had training in crime scene investigation! Not only has it removed Miss Red’s body, but it even went to the effort to collect the severed arms and dispose of them, too! A couple more rangers appear on the scene and after briefing them on the “killer bear” now loose in the area, Kelly sends them out to look for it. Allison meanwhile, has been snapping more pictures than a tourist at Disneyland and has moved into the trees somewhat in order to capture a different angle of the campsite. Walking around in the dark, she trips over a fallen tree branch and when she puts her hand out in front of her to brace her fall, it lands in something red and squishy…and it ain’t strawberry jam. There in front of her, half buried in the soil, are the remains of Miss Red. Allison lets out a horrified shriek (42 KB) and then things go black…though we can still hear her annoying scream. We now cut to the coroner’s lab where the body has just been examined. The coroner confirms to Kelly that “it was a big one all right.” He then espouses his theory to the ranger that the dead girls came across a bear cub and got too close, thus incurring the wrath of Mama Bear. Remarkably, unlike every other coroner in filmdom, this one is not eating a sandwich or some other snack while voicing this idea. Kelly says that they found no sign of a cub at the campsite and wonders why the bear has come down from the high country. The coroner puts forth the notion that the bear came down for food, as one of the dead girls was partially eaten and then buried for further munching at a later date. Kelly is not too sure of this idea, as the high country should have enough food for all the bears, giving them no reason to come down into the lower areas.
Charley Kittridge, The National Park Supervisor, comes marching up about now, inflamed because he wasn’t informed of the situation and that he had to hear of it on the radio. There is no love lost between Kelly and Kittridge, the latter grilling the former on what he plans to do about the situation. Kelly says that he has rangers out combing the countryside looking for the animal and has put “R3” and “R4” off limits to campers. Since ultimate responsibility will fall on Kittridge, he is feeling a wee bit nervous and suggests that rather than it being a case of a bear coming down from the high country where the rangers had them tagged and moved, Kelly and his team just failed to move all the bears. Kelly is angered by the suggestion and says that Arthur Scott knows every bear in the region and there is just no way he could have missed one. Kittridge wants to talk to Scott ASAP. There are some more tense exchanges between the two and then Kelly leaves. Now we see campers hauling ass through the woods. We hear a radio report that informs us (and presumably all these campers as well) about the bear attack, ordering everyone out of the area and cautioning people not to enter the high country. It’s funny, because we get several shots of people fleeing the woods, and not just one or two at a time, but in large groups as if the forest was literally infested with campers. Seriously, it’s like someone just announced a free TV giveaway at the ranger station for the first one hundred campers and the entire state of Washington just came pouring out of the woods. Even funnier is the fact that these people are running as fast as they can. Do they think the bear is armed with explosives and has rigged the entire park to explode? They act as if any minute the forest could go up in fiery detonation of trees, wildlife, hot dog buns and people! At his office, Kelly is trying to get in touch with Arthur Scott. He finds out that other man is in the field and the person at the other end of the phone is reluctant to connect Kelly to him. Kelly loses his cool and reads the guy the riot act, informing him that he’s got two young girls who have been “eaten to the bone” and that if the other guy doesn’t contact Scott on the field phone, he will be in the unemployment line. While he waits, Allison enters his office and takes a seat. Now we cut to somewhere in the woods. A family of deer is foraging for food when a sudden beeping can be heard. The sound startles them and they bolt, much to the dismay of Arthur Scott, who was covertly observing them from the cover of some nearby bushes and whose field phone just went off, producing the offending sounds. He answers the call and begins yelling into it, mad that his work was disrupted. On the other end Kelly gives him the low down on the recent deaths, the fact that it was a bear doing the killings, and that Kittridge is holding both of them responsible. He tells Scott to get his “carcass” back down to the station. After Kelly hangs up the phone, Allison asks him who Scott is. He explains that Scott is a naturalist and knows every bear in the forest “personally.” Allison remarks on how they (the rangers and naturalist Scott) must love their work. Kelly then launches into a speech about how it changes one’s priorities, his past schemes to get rich by hooking up with some wealthy broad and how he became a ranger. Allison thinks he is just blowing smoke up her ass with the story, but admits that she really doesn’t care. Good, because I doubt any one else cares, either! I certainly don’t. Do you? I didn’t think so. We return to the great outdoors, where teams of rangers are walking through the forest and looking for the killer bear. One such team is comprised of Ranger Tom and Ranger Gail. They come upon a small waterfall and engage in a discussion on the possible whereabouts of the bear. They agree that the animal must be elsewhere. They also seem to be throwing each other big shit-eating grins, no doubt thinking about their secluded location and the possibilities of boom-boom in the woods. Tom suggests that Gail take a break while he goes to check out some ridge close by. She agrees and says that she is gonna soak her feet in the nearby stream. Tom walks off and we instantly get some Bear-Cam shots of the animal moving through the woods. When we return to Gail, we see that she has undone her ponytail and let her hair fallen loose. She is making her way over the large rocks around the stream and more Bear-Cam informs us that the bear is watching her from up the hill. She approaches the waterfall and gets one of the best ideas this movie has had yet and starts to disrobe. Woo hoo! Fire up the video capture card, I think we’re gonna see us some boobies. WRONG. Skin is all we get as she only strips down to her panties and bra. Still, the scenery has improved considerably in my humble opinion. She makes her way across a log that spans the stream and follows the shoreline up towards the waterfall itself. Most of these shots of her moving about are Bear-Cam shots, accompanied by the sound of heavy breathing. Then again, for all we know, it could be some two-hundred pound voyeuristic geek out in the woods who is watching her every move. So Gail makes her way to a spot behind the waterfall, so that the water is actually between us and her, obscuring our view somewhat (damn, damn, damn, DAMN). As she enjoys the flowing water and cool mist produced by the falls, a large, shaggy, and quite obviously fake, bear paw grabs her. The strange thing is, from the angle of the paw, the bear must be standing behind her and must be laying on the damn ground, as the paw appears from the bottom portion of the screen. See the image below to see what I mean. The bear now roars and pulls the screaming Gail off screen. All we see to mark her sudden demise is the stream waters turning a bright red from all the blood.
At some bar or restaurant somewhere – it could be Walt Corwin’s place, but the décor doesn’t quite match to be positive – Kelly is smoking and drinking up a storm. I’m more amazed by the fact that he is smoking in a public place than anything. In our modern day and age, that’s damn near a crime punishable by death. Allison approaches and Kelly wonders when he will stop remembering. Remembering what? His lines? Her hideous hair style? The taste of his last meal? What? She says that it should take about twenty-five years and then uninvited, she takes a seat at his table. Kelly now says, “Poor Tom.” Allison asks, “he liked her, didn’t he?” Kelly just nods. This exchange finally tells us that this is taking place sometime after Gail’s death has been discovered and reported on. Maybe that is what he is trying to forget. He begins to feel like he isn’t doing enough in his job as head ranger and thinks that perhaps he isn’t cut out for this aspect of the job. Pitching tents, taking hikes and giving to speeches to school kids…yes. Tracking down killer bears? No. She tries to assure him…I suppose. The truth is I tend to tune her out a lot when she speaks. Kelly wonders where Scott is and more pointless dialog is exchanged. Next up, it seems to be early morning and a helicopter is lifting off. Inside are pilot Don Stober, who we haven’t seen since the film’s prologue, and Kelly. It should be noted that Don is wearing the exact same shirt and denim jacket that he had on during the prologue, despite at least two days having passed since then. Either he has washed it and is wearing it again, didn’t wash it and is wearing it again or worst of all…is still wearing it after all this time. The cockpit must reek if that is the case. Kelly thanks Don for helping in the search for the bear. They fly out over the forest and Kelly uses a pair of binoculars to look for the animal while Don flies as low as the winds will allow. Don inquires into the bear’s patterns, which somehow brings up the topic of women. Before this can get too far, Kelly thinks he spots something on the ground and has Don take the chopper down. They circle what appears to be a large brown animal moving across a clearing. Don lands the helicopter nearby and Kelly jumps out with his rifle. He aims at the bear but before he can fire the animal tells him to stop. It turns out it is just Scott, wearing some animal skins in his attempt at tracking the bear. Kelly is annoyed that Scott is up here rather than down at camp, where Kittridge is having a coronary over the situation. Scott tells him that the bear is not one of the native bears they moved to the high country. Don exits the chopper and asks Scotty what he would have done if he had run into “that big brown.” At this Scott informs the other two men that the killer bear is not a brown, but a Grizzly. The others don’t buy it, as all the Grizzlies in the area were killed off years back, but Scott is adamant that the bear doing the killing is indeed a Grizzly…perhaps one that escaped the great Grizzly purge. Despite the average Grizzly being about seven feet tall, Scott says that this one is at least fifteen. Going by the depth of its paw prints, the beast weighs over two thousand pounds. Scott expounds on his findings a bit more and then they all pile into the chopper and leave. Night has now fallen once again and we see a large group of campers gathered around their campfires…and when I say large, I mean dozens and dozens. It looks like the average KOA campground, only with about five times as many people in about a tenth of the space. One couple is sitting outside their tent, sharing a kiss. The woman rises, leaving the man with an absolute idiotic expression on his face. I swear the guy must have creamed his shorts just in anticipation of getting some action. He takes a swig from an ancient beer can while she disappears into the tent. Why isn’t he following? Any sane guy is wanting to get laid at this point but he is just sitting there? MORON. Within the tent, the woman has changed into a nightgown and is now applying perfume. As she admires herself in a mirror, that same fake bear paw that we’ve now seen on two different occasions comes slicing through the top of the tent, accompanied by ursine roaring. The woman screams in horror and then we see her body being lifted up and out of frame by the unseen bear. What follows next is truly ridiculous. As the guy outside looks on in horror and screams, along with every other camper within five miles apparently, we see the woman being beaten back and forth between two trees. Obviously the bear has grabbed her and is doing the same thing we would do with a flopping fish in order to get it to stop twitching. Unfortunately, we cannot see the bear, just the woman suspended in the air. Seeing as how we can make out most of her body and legs, one must assume the bear is holding her by the feet and swinging her back and forth like a stick. Whether the bear is doing this with its jaws or its paws is unclear and open to speculation. What makes this scene so ridiculous is the fact that for some reason, the producers decided to run this footage upside down. Yes, you read that correctly. How can this be confirmed? By looking at the woman’s long blonde hair. As she is being bounced back and forth between those trees, her hair is sticking straight up. Not straight up from her head like Marge Simpson, but straight up in relation to the ground and the horizontal position her own body is in. Oh, just watch the scene (1.22 MB) and you’ll see what I mean. After using her as a piñata stick, the bear drops her to the ground and then vanishes back into the woods, the screams of all the horrified campers echoing through the trees. Why the bear didn’t take the body with it is beyond me. Maybe it just wanted to send a message to all the campers. Sometime later the authorities have arrived. The crowd is dispersed and Kelly tries to comfort the grieving husband/boyfriend/whatever of the dead woman. He guides him to the ambulance where the poor bastard will accompany the body to the hospital. When it leaves, Kittridge appears out of nowhere like Batman and begins grilling Kelly and Scott. He is pissed and is trying to blame everything on the other two men. Scott tries to warn him that they have a Grizzly on their hands, but Kittridge doesn’t believe it and calls him crazy. Scott just shakes his head and walks away. Turning to Kelly, Kittridge now tears into him, wanting him to catch the bear. Kelly wants Kittridge to bring in some men from Washington. Hold on a sec…which Washington, the city or the state? If the city, why does he think bringing in the Feds are gonna help? Either way, Kittridge doesn’t like the idea, as it will blow everything out of proportion. He thinks it is just a bear attracted by the smell of campers’ food, and should be easily caught. He tells Kelly to get the job done or he will. Now we see about half a dozen vehicles traveling down a road. They turn off onto a dirt road and park. Much like clown cars at the circus, each vehicle now seems to disgorge about twenty people each, because in just seconds the area is teeming with men preparing to go bear hunting. Each sporting a rifle, they swarm into the woods like kids on an Easter egg hunt. We get several shots of this mob of morons as they stumble through trees, even passing a sign that says “no hunting” at one point. Whoever said a requisite for operating a rifle was literacy? Not far off Kelly, Scott and Don are cruising around in a jeep and notice the sudden abundance of gun-wielding morons stomping through the forest. They quickly deduce that all these fools are out to bag themselves a bear. Scott remarks that they’re liable to shoot everything in sight, which Don thinks is a good idea, as they might actually manage to kill the Grizzly. Kelly however, is concerned about the safety of his rangers and turns the vehicle around. One of those hunters is now seen making his way through the forest. Alone, he is wearing a bright orange hat and vest so that the other fools won’t shoot him by mistake. He finds a tree with claw marks on it, but they only appear to be about six or seven feet off the ground. I suppose the bear didn’t feel like standing when it made those. Some Bear-Cam now informs us that the Grizzly is not far away. We seen the hunter again and then…miracle of all miracles…we actually see a real live bear! No fake bear paws! Granted, all we see are the bear’s feet as it stalks the hunter, but it is still a real bear. Closer examination reveals the bear’s fur to be unmistakably black in color. That last factoid is important for later. Now we get a series of shots that alternate between the hunter, the bear’s feet and Bear-Cam. Too bad the terrain in the shots of the bear’s feet don’t match the rest. In those the animal seems to be walking on grass, while in the others a heavy carpet of dead leaves covers the ground.
The Bear-Cam suddenly rises up as the hunter walks by, letting us know that the Grizzly has now stood up on its hind legs. The hunter turns and looks in horror at…a brown bear. Yes, that is correct: the bear has magically changed its color. Again, the footage of the bear doesn’t match the Bear-Cam shots or the footage of the hunter. The surroundings are completely different between them. Plus, this bear does not appear to be anywhere near the fifteen feet in height that Scott claimed it to be. More like seven or eight. Startled, the hunter drops his rifle, but wastes no time in trying to recover it. Rather, he wisely employs the age-old self preservation technique known as “running like hell.” The bear launches itself after him and a tense chase ensues. Well, not all that tense. The hunter comes to steep ledge and rather than trying to carefully pick his way down, he just leaps out over the edge, grabs onto a nearby tree and slides down like a fireman. The we get close-ups of the bear’s black feet again. The sequence now goes something like this: hunter running through woods, bear feet in pursuit, hunter again, Bear-Cam and so on until the hunter races over another ledge and free falls into a stream. The water rushes him downstream and out of harm’s way. Kelly, Scott and Don have now shown up to confront Kittridge. Kelly wants to know what all the hunters are “doing out there.” Kittridge says that he didn’t have a choice (I suppose this means that he invited them). Kelly is upset that there is bunch of drunken bums out stumbling through the woods and not professional hunters. Kittridge doesn’t care and he still refuses to entertain the idea that the bear is a Grizzly and not a more common Brown bear. Kelly brings up all the campers that are in the area, but Kittridge insists that they are in no danger as no one has been permitted into “R3” and “R4.” Kelly doesn’t want to underestimate the danger. There is more to the heated exchange, which ends when Kelly vows to handle things his way. He stomps out with Scott and Don following. Outside they encounter Ranger Tom. He informs the trio that a hunter ran into the Grizzly but managed to get away with his life. Kelly joins Tom and has Scott take Don somewhere to “pick up his stuff.” It seems a cunning plan may be afoot. Night has now fallen and there seems to be an increased amount of activity at the ranger station. Allison drives up and Kelly says he is glad that she dropped by, but the gang is about ready to head out. She insists on coming with them. In the usual sexist manner, he suggests that she couldn’t handle it, but quickly admits that he doesn’t want to see her hurt. They argue some more about, but he wins and she stays. Somewhere out in the woods we see three hunters snoozing around a campfire in their sleeping bags. Next comes some Bear-Cam, and then an actual close-up of a bear’s face! The bear enters camp and I suddenly got a flashback to a similar scene that occurred a few years later in Prophecy. I haven’t unearthed that one at the Graveyard yet, but you can check out the clip in question by going to Andrew Borntreger’s review here. Anyway, one of the hunters awakens and screams in horror when confronted with…a bear cub. The others then awake and laugh at him. They collectively reckon that the cub belongs to the bear they are hunting, so one suggests getting rid of it by putting back in the woods. However, one of the Einsteins gets the notion to use the cub as bait. They’ll find a spot a ways from camp, tie the cub to a tree, wait for mama bear to come along and then POW. The others nod in agreement at this plan. Soon enough the bear cub is tethered to a tree while the three stooges wait at their campfire. More Bear-Cam reveals the true Grizzly approaching the cub. The hunters think they hear something as the Grizzly zeroes in on the cub and SQUISH. Sometime later we see Kelly interrogating the three stooges at their campsite and asking who had the idiotic idea to use the live cub as bait. One of them admits to the idea and the three confess that they didn’t hear much of anything. Scott now reveals that the Grizzly is a he, as only the males are cannibalistic, turning on and eating cubs when hungry enough. Kelly wants to know if this helps them any and Scott says yes, as the Grizzly will no doubt retrace his steps and return to this area. Kelly surmises that the bear could still be around, to which Scott replies, “He could be listening to us right now.” No doubt jotting down notes on who to eat first, if that is the case. Kelly wants to flush the bear out, now that they know its general location. The three stooges volunteer to help so Kelly has them head up to some place called Pinto Pass. Meanwhile he and the others are gonna hold the line at below. Don suggests the three stooges make a lot of noise when descending, so as to drive the grizzly into waiting arms…and guns, of the rangers. Kelly tells them to be ready to go at daybreak and the three head off. Kelly then tells Ranger Tom that he will not be accompanying the rest of the rangers, so Tom now questions why he cannot be a part of Operation: Bear Claw (I just made that up, they didn’t really call it that in the film). Kelly tells him that he is needed at Arrow Tower. Tom isn’t happy about the situation, but Kelly says that in the tower he has a good chance of spotting the bear and maybe even having a crack at it. Kelly, Scott, Don and the rest of the rangers now take up their positions. Scott wants the first shot at the bear but Kelly cannot guarantee that. Scott has developed a new tranquilizer and wants to kill the creature rather than capture it. Don teases him and says that Scott is more likely to end up as breakfast than anything. Scott says that since the bear just ate, it is unlikely to be hungry again anytime soon. Don thinks that now that it has sampled human flesh, it will only crave more. To back up his theory he relates a story about some Indians who once inhabited the area and an encounter they had with a herd of man-eating Grizzly bears. I never realized that bears traveled in herds. I always thought they were more solitary animals. Color me wrong. Anyway Scott doesn’t believe the story and says that he ought to have first crack at the bear, especially since he knows bears and can look and smell like one when necessary (so can I if I don't bathe or shave for a month). Don mocks him for this, calling into question Scott’s mother of all things. Insults are traded back and forth but before they start throwing punches, Kelly intervenes and says that Scott can have first shot at the bear, but he isn’t to go out in the woods alone. Morning arrives and we see Ranger Tom atop Arrow tower, which seems to be nothing more than a simple lookout tower positioned on one of the taller hills in the area. He’s gazing through some binoculars, do doubt trying to locate the Grizzly or some skinny-dipping coeds. He walks to the other side of the tower’s lookout deck and spies a large group of hunters charging through the woods. It’s funny, because this footage looks exactly like the initial footage we saw of hunters running through the trees, only now it has been overlayed with the shape of binocular lenses. Bear-Cam now reveals that the Grizzly is slowly making its way up the hill toward the tower. Right about now Tom gets a call from Kelly, asking if he has seen anything, but all he has to report is the group of hunters “tearing up the place.”
Suddenly, the Grizzly rears up on its hind legs, roars and makes a gesture with its front legs that looks like it is trying to clap. Just take note: the bear is quite brown here and nowhere near fifteen feet in height. Tom looks down and sees the bear at the base of the tower. The animal is pushing on the structure with its front legs and wood can be heard snapping. Tom freaks out and calls for help on the radio. Kelly and Don are soon hauling ass themselves toward the tower. Meanwhile the whole thing is shaking and rocking back and forth under the bear’s assault. Tom grabs his rifle and manages to get off a couple of shots at the Grizzly, but nothing seems to harm it. The animal continues to push on the tower until a support snaps and the entire thing comes crashing to the ground (608 KB), bringing Tom with it...well, a phony-looking dummy that is supposed to be him. When Kelly, Don and a couple of rangers arrive a short time later, all they find is a pile of rubble and a dead Ranger Tom. Kelly takes a moment to stare into the distance and reflect on things. At some point later, a TV crew is interviewing locals and campers on the situation. Inside Kittridge’s office nearby, the National Park Supervisor is trying to offer words of support to Kelly on Tom’s death. Kelly says that he has a plan (a cunning one?) but he needs time and men. He shows Kittridge a map of the area with pins denoting where kills have been made by the bear. Kelly wants to follow the perceived pattern and get ahead of the bear. He mentions that the bear seems to know what they’re thinking. Kittridge just scoffs at that notion and reminds Kelly that the Grizzly is just an animal. From a previously unseen seat close by, Scott now launches into his own speech about how intelligent Grizzlies truly are, but Kelly just gets on his case for eating a sandwich (I wonder if he got it from the coroner) and has him take it outside. Kelly now turns to Kittridge and asks him to close the park and give him another crack at the bear. Kittridge feels that there is no need to close the park and refuses to do so. Kelly now likens the whole affair to a circus, especially since the arrival of the media. Kittridge admits that he was the one who invited all the reporters and when Kelly asks him why, he says it is because he wanted everyone to see the “clean, thorough job” that he feels they (the park staff) are capable of doing. Kelly looses his cool now and brings up the deaths that have already occurred. He accuses Kittridge of not caring one bit whether the bear is stopped, but of being more concerned with his image in the press, hoping to utilize his public image as a stepping stone to a cushy job in Washington. Kittridge tries to throw him out, but Kelly refuses to budge, promising to expose him for who he is and end his career. At this point Kittridge dismisses him from his job, but Kelly just replies with an “up yours” before exiting. Another night has now fallen and in the Forest Rangers’ HQ, Kelly has proceeded to get himself good and drunk while Scott watches. Kelly seems to have given up, but Scott is still intent on stopping the Grizzly. There is some slight arguing between the two, which ends when Scott leaves. A new day has dawned (I swear, at least two weeks have passed within this movie) and we see a home where a young blonde boy is playing with a rabbit in the back yard. A woman comes out onto the porch and exhorts “Robert” to stay close. As she heads on inside, Bear-Cam reveals that the Grizzly is spying on the place from up the hill. We then get a close-up of the bear’s brown-furred face as it moves through the trees. Then a close-up of its feet reveals that they are now black. The bear moves closer to the boy as he plays with his rabbit. The bunny hops away under the fence and the boy opens the gate and leaves the yard in order to retrieve his pet. The music rises ominously as he moves off screen, but the boy safely returns to the yard seconds later with the rabbit. Unfortunately, he left the gate open, which has allowed the Grizzly to enter the yard without having to expend the effort in knocking over the fence.
Following its usual pattern, the bear rears up on its hind legs and let loose with a roar that could wake the dead. Somehow this alerts the boy’s mother, who is inside the house, to the bear’s presence faster than it does for Bobby himself. I think little Bobby is supposed to be hard of hearing, since earlier his mother had to call to him more than once in order to get a response. Either than or he has that “selective hearing syndrome” that so many children have, where they only hear what they want to hear unless you repeat it about five million times or what you are saying involves toys and/or candy. Anyway, the mother screams, little Bobby looks up, sees the bear and screams while the Grizzly continues to roar. All in all, some real noise pollution. We get some shots of a real bear on its hind legs as it waves its front legs around and makes mean faces (note that I said faces and not feces, though the latter would be quite mean, too). Then a man in a bear suit reaches down and picks up the screaming Bobby, who punches and kicks at his pseudo-ursine assailant and begins calling for his “mommy” – no doubt because she has warned him about the weird things men in animal costumes do to young children. Mommy comes rushing out of the house, armed for mortal combat with…a broom. That had better be a +5 Broom of Hammer Blows or something, as it ain’t gonna do a lick of good if it isn’t. Mom races over to the bear, which is busy giving little Bobby an eponymous Bear Hug, and begins hitting the large animal like she was engaged in a game of whack-a-mole. Several shots of the Mother vs. Bear fight ensue, some of which feature a real bear while others showcase that moron in a bear suit. Finally, the Grizzly lets go of little Bobby, who falls to the ground covered in blood and with his left leg missing below the knee. Violence towards children! Something you just don’t see much of anymore in today’s politically correct world gone mad. Mom gazes over at Bobby’s mangled form in horror and we notice that somehow she has lost her broom…not that it was doing any good. The man in a bear suit now moves in to give her the old Bear Hug maneuver while she tries to fend off the creature with her fists. No such luck. Mom is soon lifted off the ground and given a fatal dose of the squish treatment. You can watch this entire unbearable scene (groan) here (1.68 MB). Now we jump ahead in time to that night, where a sizable crowd has gathered outside the local doctor’s office/clinic, despite a constant rain. Kelly walks out and confronts Kittridge, who is much more agreeable now to the idea of closing the park and having the press removed. One reporter isn’t happy and tries that “people have a right to know” crap (this guy is played by one of the film’s writers), but Kelly shuts him up and says that he should already have a story – one about greed and wanting to go to Washington. Obviously he is referring to Kittridge, but the park supervisor doesn’t say anything in his own defense. I guess the SOB knows just how culpable he is in recent events. Kelly chews out the reporter for hyping the situation and reveals that the blonde-haired kid Bobby is still alive, but he needs to be moved to the city hospital in order to ensure that he stays that way. Within seconds little Bobby is brought out on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance, his missing leg obvious for all to see. The ambulance roars away and Kelly hops into his own vehicle, a determined look on his face. It is now another day, and we see the hanger where Don Stober keeps his helicopter. He and Kelly are loading it up with weapons and supplies, no doubt planning on another bear-hunting excursion. They even throw in a bazooka and a flamethrower! What do they think they are heading up against…a Predator? Don is blathering on about his experiences in Vietnam and how he doesn’t kill anything anymore, not even flies. Kelly apologizes for putting him a situation where he may have to kill, but Don admits that he is doing this by choice. Then he inquires into Scott’s whereabouts, to which Kelly informs him that the naturalist has gone off on his own to track down the Grizzly. Cutting to the wilderness, we see Scott on horseback. He pauses and looks overhead, seeing Don’s helicopter fly by before continuing on his own way. In the chopper Don and Kelly are discussing the Grizzly’s traveling patterns, hoping to locate the critter. Below, the bear in question can be seen standing and roaring at the aircraft as it whizzes by, as if it can sense the ill intent of it’s occupants. Then we get a few shots of the Grizzly as it walks through the woods. In a wide-open field, Don and Kelly have landed and are unloading a dead buck from the rear seat of the helicopter. Tell me that didn’t stink the place up something fierce! Don tries to hand Kelly a rifle but the head Ranger claims to already have a weapon. Don points out that Kelly’s rifle isn’t going to do the job and relates the advantages of the other gun before swapping it with Kelly’s own. Don now retrieves a rope from the helicopter and ties it around the Buck’s antlers. He begins dragging it toward a tree and we see that the dead animal has a huge slit down its body, no doubt from where it has been gutted. Now I am positive that that thing must have stunk up the helicopter. We cut away quickly to the Grizzly wandering around and then back to Don and Kelly as they hang the dead buck from a tree. Don then heads back to the chopper for their gear while Kelly begins working on their blind. This is where the bear’s color-changing abilities go into overdrive. We get several shots of black bear feet, but spliced in along with the requisite Bear-Cam, are shots of a brown bear walking. Back and forth the colors go and I have to wonder how stupid the producers thought their audience was going to be, if they did not expect anyone to notice these glaring continuity issues. The ground and terrain between the two sets of shots are different as well. What, did the brown bear have it in its contract that they’d never film its feet? So the Grizzly sees the dead buck hanging from a tree and if sensing a trap, pauses before approaching. Somewhere close by, Kelly has failed to notice the bear’s approach, so clicks the safety on his rifle. The sound alerts the bear, which takes off running. Kelly screams for Don and soon the two dorks are chasing the Grizzly. Lots more brown bear/black bear alternating shots follow as we see all three of them run pell mell through the trees. Eventually the Grizzly outdistances the two men and makes its escape. Kelly and Don, tired from all that running, turn and slowly begin to make their way back to the helicopter. Turning now to Scott on his horse, we see him making his way through some trees. Then we cut back to Kelly and Don, who have returned to where they had hoped to bag the Grizzly, only to discover that the animal has circled back on them and run off with the dead buck. Disheartened, they figure it’s too late in the day to track the beast, so they head back to the helicopter to sleep. Soon it is dark, but Scott is still wandering around on his horse. Eventually he comes across signs that the Grizzly has passed through the area. So what does he do? Why, he tethers his horse to a tree, rolls out his sleeping bag, climbs in and gets his rifle ready. Then he settles in to sleep! Isn’t he worried that the Grizzly is going to return and find him snoozing? Evidently not! Now we cut back again to Kelly and Don. They’ve set up their own campsite and fire near the helicopter, where Kelly will be taking the first watch. He stays next to the fire while Don goes and curls up several yards away by the helicopter. Wouldn’t staying by the fire be a more prudent move to make? The bear could easily use the chopper to conceal its approach, grab Don and be gone before Kelly knew what happened. I suppose they didn’t think of that…or just didn’t care.
Another morning arrives and Scott is back on his horse and moving. He comes across a tree with some scratch marks and blood adorning its upper reaches, but doesn’t linger. A few dozen yards away, he comes upon the partially eaten remains of a buck. He climbs down and calls Kelly on his radio, informing him of his find. Kelly says that it must be the same buck they used as bait. Scott is sure it was the Grizzly that was doing the eating. After much pestering on Kelly’s part, Scott finally reveals where he is currently located: “above R4 in zone A21.” Kelly advises him to get out of the area in case the bear returns for the second half of its meal, but that is exactly what Scott is hoping the animal will do. He plans on dragging the remains behind his horse and heading for Kelly’s location. Kelly tries to dissuade him from this course of action, but Scott just ignores him and turns his radio off. Now we see Scotty on his horse again, dragging the remains of the buck. It’s long about now that we the audience have come to realize that Scott is doing a piss poor job of tracking down the bear. Why? Because the bear has just found him. The Grizzly lurches up from out of nowhere, displaying stealth and camouflage abilities that would make a ninja green with envy, swings its big paw and SPLISH…Scott’s horse is quite suddenly missing its head…which has fallen to the ground. It seems the bear has given Scott an offer he cannot refuse…or ignore. Scott jumps from his headless mount and when the fake horse is shown falling to the ground next to him, we note that it still has a head (1.33 MB). More lousy continuity it would seem. Unfortunately for Scott, his rifle is out of reach so he tries to back away from the suddenly advancing man in a bear suit (perhaps recalling what this same clown did to poor little Blonde Robert). A swing of that fake bear paw and Scott is soon laid out like one of Mike Tyson’s early opponents. Meanwhile, Kelly and Don are back in the helicopter and buzzing around. As they fly the friendly skies, the Grizzly has tossed Scott in a shallow hole and is covering him with dirt. More aerial shots of the chopper denote the passing of time and then we return to Scott, half buried in the earth. Slowly he awakens from his bear paw-induced slumber and begins to rouse himself. He takes in his surrounding and realizes that the Grizzly has buried him for snacking at a later time. What a close call! He begins pulling himself out of the dirt when he hears heavy breathing. He turns, sees the Grizzly and instantly realizes that it is now that later time, and the bear has returned for that aforementioned snack. Scratch one naturalist. At some point later, Kelly and Don arrive and find Scott’s body. Strangely enough, while quite bloody, he seems pretty much intact. It’s as if the bear really didn’t take too many bites out of him…if any. Maybe the Grizzly just knocked him upside the head a few more times to ensure that his afternoon snack wasn’t going to get up and escape. Don wants to know how they will get the body back, but Kelly says they will bury him there and then relay the coordinates so that someone can come and get him. With another death and the bear still on the loose, things seem pretty grim.
Note - It is at this point that the movie enters its final segment, so if any of you really feel the need to watch this film and not know the ending ahead of time, skip the rest of the Walk-Thru.
Soon Kelly and Don are back in the helicopter and flying around aimlessly again. Despite their past disagreements, Don was fond of Scott and admits to missing “the old boy.” The naturalist’s death has fueled a desire in the pilot to kill again and he finds that he is looking forward to the occasion. After some more aerial shots, Kelly hauls out a grid map of the area and the two determine that the Grizzly is now heading back to the location of his first kill. How they figured this out by just looking at the map is beyond me. If it was that simple, why didn’t they look at the map days ago? Since they knew the bear did a lot of retracing of its steps, why not just wait at a spot where they know for sure it will return? I suppose because plans like that require thinking and would bring the movie to a close much too quickly. Now comes a really idiotic part. As they fly about a thousand feet above the forest, Kelly happens to look down and see the bear as it walks across a clearing. Oddly enough, the Grizzly is opting to undertake this troll while walking on its hind legs. Yes, sir…this is evolution in action. Not only has this bear mastered the art of tactical thinking, but it is now learning how to walk erect all the time. Pretty soon it will invent written language and dirty jokes. The close-ups of the Grizzly are shots with a real bear, but the long distance shots of the animal walking on its hind legs are achieved through the time honored technique of suitmation, AKA a dork in a bear suit. Take a look at the screen cap below to see what I mean. It reminds me of Katahadin, the mutant killer bear in Prophecy.
Don brings the helicopter around and dive bombs the bear, which takes off running. They pursue the Grizzly until it vanishes into some trees. They circle some more and then spot the bear again as it hauls ass across more open terrain. Lots more shots of the bear running and the chopper flying now follow, before Kelly instructs Don to land the aircraft. Don isn’t sure, but Kelly sees the Bear run behind some trees again and figures the creature is tired and scared – the perfect circumstances under which to bag the beast. Don relents and sets down the helicopter. As they sit there trying to unbuckle their safety belts and get their rifles ready, the chopper suddenly rocks. It seems the bear has appeared and once again standing on two feet, uses the other two to push the helicopter into a spin. This shot affords us a very quick, but full on view of the horrendous bear costume. This thing looks like it was dug up out of a closet where it had been eaten by moths for forty years after last appearing in some old Three Stooges short. The spinning chopper throws Don out on his ass, while Kelly is stuck inside. The bear closes in on the trapped ranger – once again standing on two feet to do so – but Don has picked himself up, retrieved his rifle and opened fire on the animal. This manages to distract the bear and convince it to come after him. Sadly, he runs out of ammo and must wield the rifle like some sort of crude club. Hey, it didn’t work for that lady with the broom, I doubt it’s gonna work now. The bear advances toward Don, allowing Kelly the opportunity to escape the helicopter. He runs out, takes aim at the bear with his rifle and lets loose with a few shots. Unfortunately, the bear is not falling for the same trick twice and ignores Kelly to continue walking (on two legs) toward Don. For his part, Don does his best to fend off the man in a bear suit when it comes up and hugs him. However, despite his best efforts…and numerous shots from Kelly, poor Don is fatally bear-hugged. The Grizzly now falls to all fours and turns back toward Kelly. The Ranger has either run out of shells for his rifle or finally come to the conclusion that the shots were doing no good, so he drops the rifle and runs back to the helicopter. Fishing around in the back, he retrieves the bazooka that they had packed when preparing for this trip. He runs back out into the open as the bear slowly approaches, and takes aim at the critter. The grizzly once again rises up on its rear legs and roars. It takes a few more steps as Kelly monkeys around with the firing controls. Finally he gets the bazooka to fire and KABOOM. The Grizzly goes up in an explosion (318 KB) that makes it clear that Bears are comprised one hundred percent of a deadly gasoline-TNT-nitro glycerin mixture. Seriously, I’ve heard of tactical nukes that produce smaller explosions. The smoke clears and Kelly’s joy at having ended the ursine threat is overturned when he spies Don’s body in the distance. A wide shot shows us Kelly as he walks over to Don and checks on him, but it’s plain to see the pilot is dead. As the Grizzly’s remains burn nearby (why wasn’t it blasted into a million pieces?), the credits begins to roll. The End.
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Shadow's Drinking Game: Every time a new day dawns within the movie, chug a beer. |
| Immortal Dialog
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| grizzly01.wav | (105 KB) Kelly briefs his crew on their situation. Kelly: “Right, this is the largest post-season crowd we’ve ever had…and there is just no way with this skeleton crew that we’re going to be able to handle it.” Shadow’s comment: And we all know what...or more to the point, who, it is that has Tom pitching a tent of his own in his shorts.
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| grizzly02.wav | (55 KB) Kelly converses with Allison. Kelly: “But there’s something I’m not doing.” Shadow’s comment: I have never heard that area called the “bear” before, nor have I heard of that particular act referred to as “killing the bear.” Ya learn something new all the time.
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| grizzly03.wav | (94 KB) Kelly and Don in the helicopter, searching for the Grizzly.
Don: “Maybe he’s got some kind of ??? or a cave.” Shadow’s comment: Are we talking about the bear or Osama Bin Laden?
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| grizzly04.wav | (65 KB) Kelly goes round and round with Kittridge.
Kelly: “It’s not bear, it’s Grizzly. There’s a difference.” Shadow’s comment: And a horse is a horse, of course, of course.
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| grizzly05.wav | (51 KB) Some moron hunters.
Hunter #1: “It’s a lot different from deer hunting.” Shadow’s comment: You mean it actually has the audacity to not stand still in your gun sights? You might actually have a shot at being harmed? How inconsiderate of that bear.
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| grizzly06.wav | (239 KB) The group discusses new revelations
Scott: “We know one thing for sure.” Shadow’s comment: He could standing right behind you!! That SO reminds me of THIS joke.
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| grizzly07.wav | (73 KB) Scott wants to do things his way.
Scott: “Kelly, I can still root him out my own way. Hell, I can look like him; I can smell like him. Now give me a chance, let me go in.” Shadow’s comment: Sure, let him go…just rub him down with steaks and bacon first to assure success. |
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grizzly.wmv (3.40 MB) |
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| Shadow's Commentary |
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| 00:35 – Yikes, give a guy some warning. 01:00 – Don’s tree-hugging speech. 02:30 – Wait! Is this a nature film? Where’s Marty Stouffer? 04:25 – The London Philharmonic? In this film? Hahahahahahaha! 06:33 – Gah! It’s a monster! Nope, it’s just Allison’s bad hair style. 09:12 – They left their fire burning! Wait til Smokey hears about this. 10:06 – It’s Bear-Cam! 11:08 – It seems bears aren’t the only ones who crap in the woods. 12:06 – Twelve minutes in and we finally get a bear attack. 12:53 – “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and …” 15:47 – See image at right -> 15:48 – Dead body showcase #1 17:41 – Dead body showcase #2 17:48 – (IMAGE where were you on the night of the 12th?) 21:20 – Last one out of the woods gets horrifically killed! 22:18 – Oh, my. It’s Captain Caveman. 24:27 – See image at right -> 26:10 – The Grizzly is a peeping tom! 26:30 – Bare skin meets Bear Skin. 30:31 – I never realized that bears were in the habit of wearing blue jeans. 33:00 – I’d venture to say that this KOA is slightly overbooked. 34:12 – What is with her hair? Is the bear electrocuting her? 37:35 – I don’t know is more scary, the bear or all those morons with guns. 40:19 – “Only you can preven…hey, wait! Come back!” 45:06 – That had to be the most passionless kiss, ever. 46:00 – Here comes to the exploding sleeping bag! Oh, wait. Wrong movie. 47:16 – Boo Boo! No!!! Somebody call PETA! 51:17 – Grizzlies travel in herds?! 53:31 – The signal fires are lit! Gondor calls for aid! 54:00 – Footage recycled from earlier in the film. 56:25 – “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll…just knock the place over.” 56:50 – Dead body showcase #3 57:35 – (IMAGE about writer cameo) 60:00 – See image at right -> 62:25 – Is she talking to that kid or the rabbit? 63:25 – Flagrant use of a man in a bear suit!! 65:30 – That’s the last we’ll see of Allison and her hideous hair in this flick. 66:29 – See image at right -> 67:00 – How much will that helicopter hold?? 70:00 – Now that is what I call passing the buck. 71:05 – Cue the chase music! 73:22 – Sleep? It’s still bright as all hell outside! 75:40 – Why is he sleeping so far from the fire? 79:32 – Somebody call PETA! 79:43 – Flagrant use of a man in a bear suit!! 82:16 – “Not so fast, pal. I haven’t eaten you yet.” 85:06 – Is that Sasquatch?! 87:08 – Flagrant..and utterly ridiculous use of a man in a bear suit!! 87:32 – See image at right -> 88:05 – Flagrant use of a…oh, nevermind. 88:56 – KABOOM! Somebody call PETA! 90:06 – Roll credits. Get me out of here. |
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| Shadow's B-Movie Awards |
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The Smokestack Award: This one goes to our main character, Michael Kelly, who was giving the Marlboro Man a run for his money. After each new death he could be seen sulking by himself, often drinking, but always lighting one up. With the amount he smoked, no wonder he couldn’t chase the bear for long – after just a few steps he’d be coughing and hacking. |
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The I Need My Head Examined Award: Another one for Michael Kelly. This one for spending so much time with Allison. I think the implication was that these two were getting involved romantically and becoming emotionally invested in one another. With a chick like that, what he should have invested in was a blow-up doll or two. |
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The Art Of Bullshit Award: Awarded to Don Stober for that utterly asinine story about a herd of Grizzly bears that attacked a group of Indians. A herd? A HERD?!! Are you freakin’ kidding me?! Bears are solitary animals (except when breeding and cub rearing)! They don’t travel in herds! They may congregate in areas with lots of food, but they do not choose to travel together! |
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The I Need A Bath Award: We bestow this one – with a ten-foot pole of course – to Arthur Scott. With the amount of time he spent in the wilderness (away from soap and water), along with his proclivity for wearing animal skins and hiding in the bushes, he was the one who probably made the skunks run for their lives. |
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The Superfluous Character Award: We give this one to Allison Corwin for the usual reasons: she accomplished nothing in this film, she contributed nothing in this film and the movie would have missed nothing if she had been removed. In other words, she is a lot like your average employee at the Department of Motor Vehicles. |
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The Royal Asswipe Award: Who else but Park Supervisor Charley Kittridge could win this award? This guy cared more about public relations and his own image than the safety of others. Even when the deaths began to pile up, he refused to let Kelly do things properly. This guy gives money-hungry political opportunists a bad name. |
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The Amity Island Public Safety Award: Once again, a win for the one and only Charley Kittridge. This guy refused to close the park despite the danger to the public, all because it would have tarnished his image and ruined his future chances at a cushy job. We have names for despicable, hell-bound people like him: politicians. |
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The Hottest Chick In The Film Award: Ranger Gail gets this one, as she is almost the sole hot chick in the film. Though the two campers that got killed in the beginning were kinda hot and had only slightly less screen time than Gail, at least Gail here had the decency to show off some skin before exiting the film. However… |
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The Moron Of The Movie Award: Without a doubt Ranger Gail receives this one, for possessing the colossal stupidity to strip off most of her clothes and then prance around in the water, far away from her gun, when she knows there is a killer bear on the loose. It takes a special kind of idiocy to pull that one off. It was still a nice sight, though. |
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The Moron Of The Movie Award Part II: Awarded to Ranger Tom for being senseless enough to leave Gail on her own while he walks off to do some scouting. You’ve got a hot chick alone in the woods and you leave her behind? Especially one that is prone to sudden stripping? IDIOT! Granted, if he had stayed they both would have probably died while screwing, but leaving still makes him a moron. |
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The Red Shirt Award: This one goes to multiple winners, most notably the two female campers in the beginning (dubbed Red and Pink by me), the blonde women who is ripped from her tent and little Bobby’s mom. Every single one of them existed for a sole reason: to die a hideous death. |
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The Care Bears Reject Award: The titular Grizzly gets this one. This critter lost his spot amongst that colorful group of friendly ursine long ago. Bedtime Bear? Cheer bear? Funshine Bear? Nope, if this Grizzly had such a name it would be more like Murder Bear or Blood Bear…maybe even Bloody Death Bear. This guy makes Grumpy Bear seem positively lovable and joyous. |
| Trivia |
1. Star Christopher George (Ranger Michael Kelly) was the uncle of Wheel of Fortune star Vanna White. His other genre credits include Day of the Animals (1977), Cruise Into Terror (1978), Graduation Day (1981), Pieces (1982) and Mortuary (1983). 2. Andrew Prine (Don Stober) once posed nude for the May 1974 issue women’s magazine Viva. He’s also appeared in Nightmare Circus AKA Barn of the Naked Dead (1974), The Demon and the Mummy (1976), The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1977), The Evil (1978), Amityville II: The Possession (1982) and Eliminators (1986). 3. Richard Jaeckel (Arthur Scott) appeared in guest spots on over ninety different television series during his fifty year career. He also appeared in the films The Green Slime (1968), Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976) and Day of the Animals (1977), but may be best known for his role in The Dirty Dozen (1967). 4. Two bears were used in the film. An eleven foot Grizzly Bear named Teddy and a seven foot black bear. They were secured behind an electric fence so actors and crew would not get injured. A man in a bear costume was used for the close-ups of the bear attacking people. 5. Writer Harvey Flaxman has a small role in the movie as a reporter. This was a tip of the hat to the film Jaws (the only one acknowledged as being done on purpose) where author Peter Benchley portrayed a television interviewer. 6. Clint Walker was first asked to play Ranger Kelly but opted to do the made for TV film Snowbeast (1977), so Christopher George was awarded the part of Ranger Kelly. 7. The second victim was played by Catherine Rickman, whose father was the mayor of Clayton, Georgia, where the movie was filmed. 8. The same bear (Teddy), same director (Girdler), same actors (George and Jaeckel) and same producer (Montoro) all returned to make Day of the Animals (1977) the following year. 9. Made on a budget of $750,000, Grizzly ended up becoming the most financially successful independent motion picture of 1976, earning an impressive $39 million world wide in box office revenue. It held this position for two solid years, until John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) surpassed its record. The record would not be broken again until 1999 with The Blair Witch Project’s staggering $248,639,099 worldwide gross, earned on a budget of less than $100,000. 10. A novelization of the film was published to coincide with its theatrical release. Astoundingly, it features first-person accounts from not only the bear's perspective, but Scott’s horse and Bobby’s rabbit as well!! It also has a different ending that the one used for the movie, where Kelly finishes off the bear with a flamethrower and where Don survives his bear hug. 11. David Sheldon wrote a sequel, Grizzly 2: The Predator in 1983, but the production ran out of money halfway through filming. Had it been released, it would have featured the screen debuts of George Clooney, Charlie Sheen and Laura Dern. |
| The Final Word |
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In essence what you have here is a nature-gone-wild film that centers more on the rampaging beast in question rather than the human characters. Lacking any type of emotional core, the film ultimately feels hollow and seems more interested in adhering to an outline of some kind rather than striking out on its own. Despite these problems, there is still a certain amount of fun to be had with this film. There is plenty of what we want to see: bloody bear attacks. It might not hold up to repeated viewings, but is certainly worth a look, especially for lovers of 70’s exploitive cinema. More mainstream audiences may garner a laugh or two from the film’s more cheesy moments, while lovers of trash and cult cinema will no doubt heap plenty of praise and love upon it. Needless to say, I count myself as a member of that latter group. I love this flick!
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The Good
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The Bad
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The Ugly
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| Rating |
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Six
Tombstones
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| My Personal History With This Film
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This film was released in 1976 when I was all of seven years of age. While I clearly remember seeing Jaws in the cinema with my parents the year before, and can recall many of the other films that passed through the theaters at the time, I have no memory whatsoever of this film. In fact, the first I had ever heard of it was at some point in the early 80’s when my dad regaled me with details of the film one morning after he had stayed up late watching TV. I was disappointed that I had missed it and made a mental note to look for it in the future. Well, some time passed – I really cannot remember how much, but it wasn’t very long…less than a year perhaps – and one weekend afternoon I was flipping through the TV guide put out by the local newspaper and saw Grizzly listed, though no details were provided on the film, just a title and air time. I checked the date and time and realized the film was already on! I quickly flicked channels over and came across Ranger Gail sauntering around that stream in her undies. At this point I was wondering if I had tuned in to the right movie and began thinking that this film was about something else entirely and the movie title my dad had provided earlier was wrong. Well, just a few seconds later and I had my answer. As Gail bathed under the waterfall, a large fake paw grabbed her and I knew instantly that this was indeed a movie about a killer bear! I settled in to watch, no doubt grabbing some snacks to help enhance the experience. Sadly, that was the only time I was ever able to catch any significant portions of the film. A few times in later years I would come across it while channel surfing, but it would always be near the end of the film. By the time the early/mid 90’s rolled around, I stopped seeing it. Then earlier this year I read that it was coming to DVD and I quickly earmarked it as a “must buy.” When the disc arrived in the mail, I eagerly sat down with The Other Half and we watched it together. She hadn’t seen it in years either and we had a good time as it unfolded. It was especially fun for me because I had never seen the beginning of the movie! That one time I was able to watch it, I had come into it late, so I had never seen those first two ridiculous deaths!! Still, memory is a funny thing. For all those years, whenever I thought of that scene where the Grizzly rips the woman out of the tent and smashes her back and forth between two trees, in my mind I could see the giant bear holding her in his jaws as he did this. Of course, when I saw the film again earlier this year, the bear was nowhere to be seen in that sequence. All we get is a quick shot of that fake bear paw ripping through the tent. I wonder why my mind insisted on putting the image of a huge bear in that scene. Hmm… |
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The Other Half chimes in on this film: I thought this movie was garbage. Totally unbelievable. There is no way a real bear would attack so many people in such a short amount of time. Real bears would be more prone to run from people rather than chase them down. I thought the make-up FX were pretty bad. The size of the paws swung at people didn’t match the ones on the real bear. |
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Back to Shadow: It should be noted that before we got married, The Other Half's last name was Baer. Despite having the vowels switched, it is pronounced the same as bear. Thus, there were a lot of "bear" jokes in her family. When we watched this one, I gave her such a bad time, likening the bear's treatment of people to her constant desire to play wrestle. She was not too amused. |
| Extras |
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Review Round-Up
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Purchase This Movie!! Grizzly
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DVD Cover
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Shadow's Parting Shot:
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