 This
film opens with a title and credit sequence that looks like it was filmed
on a studio back lot rather than in a dark and foreboding swamp. In
fact, I’m almost positive that this entire sequence was shot in
such a location. Why do I say that? Well, because the shoreline to the
“swamp” the camera seems to be traveling through, is made
of freakin’ concrete!
We ditch the “swamp” locale and now see a black car with
Louisiana plates pull up and park in front of the Webley Sanitarium,
in a section reserved solely for doctors. We know this because of the
sign that clearly states that the area is for “Doctors only.”
Do they have their own water fountains and toilets, too? The driver
enters and heads for an office marked, “Dr. Wayne McGregor –
Neuropathology,” where the resident physician greets him warmly,
and we learn that the visitor is Dr. Eric Lorimer.
Apparently these two go way back and Lorimer has dropped by after McGregor
extended an invitation to come see something odd with one of his cases.
Lorimer mentions that on the phone, McGregor admitted to having a serious
problem with a young girl. Suddenly my mind was filled with an image
of some pregnant teen that got knocked up by the kinky, perverted Doc
while she was under anesthesia. That really would be serious trouble…and
not wholly unexpected behavior on the part of some doctors.
Alas, the young girl in question happens to be one of the nurses employed
at the sanitarium. Lorimer then asks if she is pretty! How is that for
professionalism? McGregor hands over the case file and Lorimer, after
looking it over, remarks that the girl is pretty. What an old
lecher! The woman, Jane Marvin had volunteered to help McGregor is some
Narco-hypnosis techniques and is by all standards a quite competent
nurse. It seems it was by pure accident that McGregor discovered something
strange about her.
Jane enters and reclines on one of those sofa-couches that all shrinks
have in their offices. McGregor injects her with Sodium Pentathol and
has her count backward from twenty. She barely gets to seventeen before
she is mumbling incoherently…a state of mental acuity usually
reserved for Scientologists. Pow. She’s out of it. McGregor hooks
her up to a lie detector and Lorimer inquires into its presence since
the general agreement amongst physicians (and torturers I might add)
is that no one has been known to lie while under the effects of Sodium
Pentathol. McGregor just cryptically says, “You’ll see later.”
 He
then starts up one of those ancient tape recorders, the ones that are
about the size of a suitcase with two vertically positioned reels. He
asks Jane what her name is, and she replies with “Joyce Patton.
Joyce Patton Webster.” Some more questioning follows and she reveals
that she was once married and was Mrs. Paul Webster. She frowns when
recalling the details, and isn’t sure if it is all real or not.
McGregor asks her to tell them all everything about it, from the beginning.
She continues on under hypnosis, relating how she met Paul overseas.
She was nursing at a hospital and he was a lieutenant. They made plans
to get married after they were both discharged. At this point, McGregor’s
office fades away and we are met with the image of an oncoming train.
If only that oncoming train would continue right on through the screen,
into the midst of the audience, wiping us all out. At least we would
be spared the rest of this yawn-fest.
On board the train, Joyce and Paul Webster are celebrating their recent
nuptials with some champagne. Paul references a plane crash he survived,
alluding to his recovery time as the reason they had to wait to get
hitched. "By all rights, I should be dead,” he says solemnly.
Joyce tries to dismiss his words as crazy talk, but Paul gets very serious.
He begins to tell her something that he claims she has a right to know.
However, before he can spill his guts, a telegraph arrives with some
alarming news. News that makes him jump off the train at a short mail
stop and vanish – all without a word to Jane. She’s stuck
on board as the train gets moving again.
Suddenly we’re back in McGregor’s office. Still under hypnosis,
Jane/Joyce talks about how that day was supposed to be the happiest
of her life, but she had just seen her husband’s face for the
last time. McGregor asks, “What did you do then Joyce,”
in much the same stilted manner an ignoramus would try communicating
with a foreigner, a deaf person or an idiot (everyone knows that the
proper method is to YELL REALLY DAMN LOUD!). Jane/Joyce relates how
she searched for Paul as the weeks went by, finally tracking down a
possible address through his old fraternity. A place called Bayou Landing
in La Fourche Parish. McGregor’s office fades away again…
…And we see a train stop at the aforementioned Bayou Landing with
Joyce standing alone on the platform. Well, all alone beside a big crate
that reads “Caution. Radioactive material. Cobalt 60.” Apparently
she was the only person to get off the train at this stop and there
is no one to be seen. That is always a good sign is it not? Especially
with a huge box of radioactive crap as your only friend. So she sits
down on the crate and waits. I don’t know about you, but I would
not put my ass anywhere near the thing. I can only imagine what kind
of horrible afflictions I could get. Super hemorrhoids or giant ass
warts or something. No thanks.
 A
truck pulls up that has “The Cypresses” on the door. A real
creepy guy (the type that continually calls women ‘sweetheart’)
named Manon gets out and asks her if someone is supposed to meet her.
She admits that no one is and that she was hoping someone would be along
to collect the Big Box of Radioactive Crap. Manon says that is what
he is there to retrieve. He then wonders what her business is, as no
one ever gets off the train here. She claims to be looking for a place
called “The Cypresses” and asks him if he has heard of it.
Is the woman blind? The truck didn’t stop that far away, and the
words are in plain sight right there on the freakin’ door. He
agrees to take her there. She gets in his truck, which given the heat
and Manon’s sweaty, unwashed appearance, must really stink. He
grabs the Cobalt 60, places it in the back of the truck and they’re
off.
Winding their way through some pretty rough swamp terrain, they come
to a stretch of road, and I use the word “road” very loosely
here, that is blocked by some fallen tree limbs. Manon stops the truck
and gets out to clear the way, which gives Joyce the chance to get a
closer look at the grotesque denizens of the swamp – snakes, lizards,
alligators… and gator wrestlers. Not far off, two guys are trying
to maneuver a small alligator into a canoe and despite the fact that
the poor animal hardly moves at all in this scene, the two men somehow
get thrown around as if they were trying to wrestle a full grown Grizzly
bear.
Manon now gets back in the truck and gives Joyce a speech on how deadly
the swamps are, culminating with a rant on the dirty, nasty slimy gators.
He fires up the truck and tears off down the road again, happily running
over an alligator which has climbed out of the water and is making its
way across the road. This scene is funny because the shot of the truck
racing up to the gator is actually footage of it backing away, just
played in reverse. Joyce asks Manon why he did that, as the animal was
not doing him any harm. It is at this point that we learn why this guy
hates gators so much. He has no left hand – just a hook, and it
was a gator that was responsible for the missing appendage.
Now, I must say that his hook is by far the worst looking “hook
hand” I have ever seen on film. Sometimes filmmakers will at least
try to make it appear like a character’s arm ends in a stump,
with only a hook attached to the end. Not here. It is so painfully obvious
that actor Lon Chaney Jr. just has his hand in a glove. Not only can
you see the tremendous bulge where his fist is, but also the left arm
is noticeably longer than his right.
 They
finally arrive at The Cypresses, which is an old plantation. Now, are
there really plantations in the middle of the bayou? If so, what the
hell for? What are they growing? Are the owners going to corner the
world market for Spanish moss? Joyce is greeted by the servants and
then a Mrs. Henry Hawthorne, who claims to be a widow and has never
heard of Jane’s husband. Mrs. Hawthorne would like Jane to leave
ASAP, but since there are no more trains scheduled for the day, she
is forced to let Jane stay the night, on the grounds that she leave
her room under no circumstances.
Night comes and Joyce is in the guestroom, pondering things when Suddenly
gunshots begin piercing the air. Mrs. Hawthorne tells Tobey the butler
to “Find the drunken fool” and “tell him to stop that
shooting.” It seems creepy old Manon has been hitting the sauce
and has gotten himself good and liquored up. He is drunk off his ass
and is now taking pot shots at alligators as part of his ongoing grudge
against the critters. Tobey manages to get the fool to stop and go sleep
it off. There are twenty shots heard during these brief scenes, nine
of them apparently shot without Manon needing to reload.
Joyce now discovers that she has been locked in her room. Louann the
maid arrives to bring Joyce her dinner and to impart some vital information:
the place is troubled and Mrs. Hawthorne has a “big sorrow.”
Joyce should leave before she has it, too. Then Louann leaves, forgetting
to lock the door behind her.
Elsewhere, Mrs. Hawthorne receives a phone call from a Dr. Mark Sinclair
who, going by the conversation, has just returned from somewhere. We
see him in his lab, filled with all sorts of scientific equipment (in
other words lots and lots of test tubes, beakers and a Bunsen burner)
and an alligator strapped to a nearby table. She tells him that Paul’s
wife has arrived and they must decide what they are going to do about
it. She tells him to wait, as she will be right over. From her room,
Joyce sees her leave.
Mrs. Hawthorne arrives at some building in the bayou that is being used
as a medical clinic. Inside, orderlies are trying to contain a patient
who is dressed in a long white hospital gown and an idiotic looking
headpiece that covers his entire noggin. Whoever it is, he is putting
up a hell of a fight and the four orderlies have to lay on the elbow
grease to hold him down. Sinclair arrives and injects the patient with
something, the masked man muttering something unintelligible in a voice
that sounds like Darth Vader when he gargles in the morning. Sinclair
admonishes the orderlies for manhandling the guy, saying “these
are people. You don’t handle them like animals.”
Mrs. Hawthorne arrives to discuss Joyce’s arrival. Sinclair is
firm in that they need more time and Hawthorne is worried about what
might happen if Joyce says anything to the police. The good doctor feels
helpless in whatever he is trying to do and Hawthorne reminds him of
the cobalt bomb that arrived that very day, its inherent radioactive
properties surely a potential aid in whatever task he is attempting
to accomplish. The doctor is reluctant to take a chance on a Human without
months of animal testing first. Hawthorne says that he will get all
the time he requires and that Joyce will be on the train first thing
in the morning. Sinclair promises to swing by to see Joyce, so he can
ascertain if she knows anything before leaving.
Later that night, a figure emerges from the swamps and enters The Cypresses.
He sits down at a piano and begins to play in the dark. This attracts
the attention of Joyce who leaves her room and descends the stairs,
entering the room where the music is coming from. The figure stops playing
and turns to see who has interrupted him. He bolts and flees out a door
as soon as he recognizes Joyce. Joyce follows as far as the door, which
leads outside, but it is obvious she didn’t get a very good look
at whoever it was.
 Outside,
the figure runs up to an approaching car and waves the driver down.
Inside the vehicle is Mrs. Hawthorne. She shows no surprise when the
figure is revealed to be Paul Webster himself, only now looking quite
terrible – his skin now dark, wrinkled and positively scaly in
appearance. He questions Hawthorne as to why Joyce is there. She explains
that Joyce came in on the train and she had no choice but to put her
up for the night, the alternative being putting her out in the middle
of the swamp. She promises that Joyce will be gone the next day.
Morning comes and Dr. Sinclair arrives in some type of amphibious vehicle
– one that goes straight from the water of the swamps to dry land
without missing a beat, but pretty much looks like a small fishing boat
with four wheels. Joyce is standing on the porch to The Cypresses when
Sinclair pulls up and introduces himself as the “Swamp Doctor.”
Joyce does her best to get some answers out of him through some verbal
wrestling, but he reveals nothing to her, claiming he was just dropping
by to see Mrs. Hawthorne. Joyce drops her name, but he acts as if he
has never heard the name Webster before. She is sure he and the others
are hiding something, but he just dismisses her worries and moves on.
Later, Joyce is being a total snoop and is rummaging around through
Mrs. Hawthorne’s desk. That could get you shot around my house,
I’ll tell you. Elsewhere Mrs. Hawthorne grills her staff on why
Joyce hasn’t left yet and Louann explains that Joyce had refused
to go when Tobey brought the car around to pick her up. Hawthorne is
even more upset now and catches Joyce rifling through her stuff. She
accuses Joyce of taking advantage of her hospitality, but Joyce is sure
that the older woman his hiding something from her. She wants to know
who was playing the piano the night before in the dark and why Dr. Sinclair
came around in an obvious attempt at finding out what she may or may
not know. Joyce continues to press Mrs. Hawthorne and begins to accuse
her of doing something with Paul. Finally, Mrs. Hawthorne breaks and
admits that she would be the last one to ever hurt Paul as she is his
mother. Kick yourself if you didn’t see that one coming. Yeah,
I thought so. Fade out.
Paul drops by again and this time Joyce confronts him. Again he runs
off like a scared rabbit, plowing into the swamp in his haste to get
away. Joyce calls after him and gives chase. However, it is not long
before she is hopelessly lost in the swamp, the darkness and pouring
rain making the situation even worse. Still calling Paul’s name,
she has a couple of close encounters with some gators and a snake before
attracting the attention of something even worse – Manon. The
hook-handed creep arrives just in time to save her from a moccasin and
then escorts her back to his cabin.
At his cabin, Manon offers her a drink to help Joyce warm up. When she
asks him why he has brought her to his cabin, he mutters something about
assuming she would naturally appreciate him for saving her from that
snake. Uh-huh. Raise your hand if you know where this is going. Ok,
ok, ok! Hands down! Manon then advises her to get out of her wet clothes
so she won’t get sick. I said hands down! She claims she will
be all right, so then he wraps her in blanket. Once he has gotten his
arms around her, he then starts trying to kiss her and no doubt has
much more on his mind. Naturally she screams and struggles, so what
does the oaf do? He belts her, knocking her out.
Having an unconscious partner saves him from having to wrestle her into
submission, so he starts to remove her clothes. At this point Paul rushes
in and attacks him. A brief fight ensues, which looks like it was lifted
from an old Republic Pictures serial. They manage to make a mess of
the interior of the cabin in record time. Paul finally lands a solid
punch and the drunken, glass-jawed Manon drops like a wet rag. Paul
collects the unconscious Joyce and leaves with her. Manon comes to and
yells out to Paul, promising to kill him. Paul returns Joyce to The
Cypresses. His mother advises him that they can no longer keep Joyce
in the dark and that hiding things from her will only lead to her getting
hurt. She says that she will get Dr. Sinclair to explain things to Joyce.
Paul goes to see Sinclair and asks when they can use the Cobalt 60.
The Doctor explains it will be months before it can be used. Paul insists
that it be used as soon as possible. Sinclair claims it is just too
great a risk. Paul persists, saying that the Doctor owes him this chance.
Sinclair gives in and tells him they have to perform at least one test
first. Paul agrees but is adamant that the procedure be performed on
him the next night. Sinclair then informs him that he is going to tell
Joyce all the facts and that she will know everything.
 The
next day, after a bunch of orderlies wrestle an alligator onto a gurney
and transport it to Sinclair’s lab for testing, Joyce arrives
and is given the grand tour by the doctor after he finishes up aiming
some sort of radioactive ray at the test gator. Sinclair goes on to
explain how he had once pioneered a method of injecting alligator hormones
into people who were horribly injured or disfigured. Mrs. Hawthorne
had financed his research and helped him set up his clinic. His new
treatment allowed those who were mangled and horribly burned to heal
amazingly fast and with no sign remaining of their injuries. Joyce recalls
how Paul looked like he had never been in a plane crash and the doctor
tells her that Paul had been the worst of the cases he treated, the
most horribly burned and disfigured. Sinclair was convinced that he
had stumbled onto a medical Holy Grail.
They are interrupted by patient “Number six” who is acting
up again. Sinclair has Joyce accompany him to a room where three orderlies
are trying to restrain a man who also has scaly skin on half of his
face and a voice like Froggy from The Little Rascals. They finally get
him to calm down after directing a bright heat lamp in his direction
– warmth making reptiles somewhat lethargic and all that. Joyce
asks who these people are and Sinclair reveals that these are the people
he had once helped with his discovery. There was an unfortunate side
effect from his revolutionary new procedure. It seems a year after their
treatment, all of them began turning into alligators – Paul included.
D’oh!
Sinclair explains that there is one hope for these people: massive doses
of radiation, with Paul being the first test case. Joyce insists on
being there for the test and the doctor realizes that given all the
circumstances, he really can’t prevent her from doing so.
Note
- It is at this point that the movie enters its final segment, so if
any of you really feel the need to watch this film and not know the
ending ahead of time, skip the rest of this section.
Night comes and Paul emerges from the swamp again. Just where the hell
is he staying anyway? Sure, he is looking all scaly, but there is no
way he has taken to hanging out with the other gators. He obviously
wasn’t staying at The Cypresses. So, does he have shack in the
swamp somewhere? A treehouse? A cave? What exactly? Alas, the film never
tells us. Paul enters the lab and is met by Joyce. He tries to run and
turn away, but she will have none of it. She tells him that she knows
everything about what has befallen him as well as the plans for that
evening. She professes her love for him and does her best to be encouraging,
saying that she knows he’ll come out of it all as handsome as
ever. Yeah, and I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Dr. Sinclair and Mrs. Hawthorne arrive and things are made ready for
the test. Paul is ushered off, Joyce begins to cry and Hawthorne apologizes
for how she behaved earlier. Paul is strapped to the table with the
big gizmo thing that emits the radioactive beam stationed over him,
aimed right at his head. Sinclair tells the women that the absolute
maximum time of exposure is thirty seconds. No more.
 Meanwhile,
Manon busts into The Cypresses, looking for Paul. He arrives at the
lab just as things are getting under way. He pulls Sinclair away for
the control panel before the doctor can bring an end to Paul’s
exposure to the Cobalt 60. Then Manon storms into the radiation chamber
to confront Paul, only now the prolonged exposure has accelerated Paul’s
transformation into an alligator. His entire upper torso is covered
with thick, scaly skin and his head is that of an alligator. Paul frees
himself from the table and lunges at Manon, who raises his arm in defense.
His Hook-hand gets caught on an electrified cable nearby and the smelly
oaf is promptly barbecued. Paul makes a run for it, startling both Joyce
and his mother with his new appearance.
Gator-Paul
flees the clinic and when Joyce comes after him, barrels into the swamp.
Inside the lab, the smoking control panel has caught fire. Somehow the
combination of that, Manon still hanging from the electric cable and
the Cobalt 60 produces an explosion that takes out the entire building,
and presumably everyone that was inside.
Out in the swamp, Joyce continues to chase after Gator-Paul, who has
caught his reflection in some water and is no doubt in a very bad mood.
He wrestles a real alligator for a few minutes, probably out of spite.
During this scene, the alligator suit really looks pathetic in comparison
to the real thing. Then, moving on, he falls into a pit of quicksand.
He tries to extricate himself, but it is to no avail. With a horrified
Joyce looking on, Gator-Paul vanishes beneath the surface to his doom.
Joyce screams and screams and screams…and screams some more. Finally,
we fade out….
…And fade back into Dr. McGregor’s lab where he and Dr.
Lorimer are going over the results of the experiment. The lie detector
shows that Jane was telling the truth. In addition, records do indeed
show that a Paul Webster and Dr. Mark Sinclair did exist but have since
disappeared. McGregor wonders if he should tell Jane the truth, seeing
as how she seems to have made a satisfactory adjustment after living
through such a horrible experience. She now has a happy life, and attempting
to cure her might make things worse. Lorimer isn’t sure what to
do either, concurring that the situation poses a real ethical conundrum.
 Jane
enters with some papers for McGregor to sign, saying that she will be
going off duty unless the doctor needs her for anything else. As she
turns to go, McGregor calls to her but a quick shake of the head from
Lorimer convinces him to let things go and he just says goodnight to
her. She bids both doctors goodnight, turns and exits through the door.
The
End
There
is a word for films like The Alligator People – boring.
This is definitely one of those films that is long on talk and short
on action. While a great many science fiction and horror films of the
same era contained lots of talk, as their budgets rarely allowed for
frequent or extensive uses of FX, action or both; many still had enough
polish to make the talky bits halfway interesting – even considering
their often short running times. The Alligator People clocks
in at one hour and fourteen minutes, but seems far longer. Not to say
that the events in the film are of the coma inducing variety. It is
just that things unfold so…well, boringly. Despite what we see,
there just never seems to be any real sense of excitement.
It can be said the film certainly tries to live up to its hype. There
is a desperate search, a creepy and foreboding plantation in the middle
of a swamp, strange happenings at a nearby clinic that only add to the
mystery and locals ardently trying to keep their secrets from seeing
the light of day. Throw all these in the mixer and most would assume
a really good and riveting film will result. Alas, The Alligator
People doesn’t even achieve decent, and instead settles on
barely passable. Despite all the right ingredients, the end product
is flat. The pace is terribly slow. It takes forever for anything to
happen, and when it does, it just doesn’t generate much enthusiasm
for the film. Joyce’s search for Paul is just a seemingly endless
series of conversations with various people. There is no real action
undertaken to help move this plot point along. Even the resistance she
meets during her quest doesn’t seem strong enough to deter anyone
older than ten years of age. The filmmakers are going for intense drama
is some of these confrontations, but instead give us a snooze-fest.
One reason for this general lack of thrills is the misleading name.
I’m sure that many monster-loving kids back in the late 50’s
swarmed to this film, positively convinced that they were going to see
hordes of Alligator People rampaging across the screen. Well, I feel
sorry for those kids, whose hopes were so cruelly dashed by this film.
Not only do we rarely see any of the Alligator People, but also when
we do, they are almost always covered head to toe in bandages and white
robes. What the hell is frightening about that? Paul is the only one
we get a really good look at, and his early stages of transformation
are adequately done. However, once the final metamorphosis takes place,
he becomes a total cheese monster. I’ve seen more frightening
gators populating the local mini golf course. Adding to the silly look
is Lon Chaney Jr’s ridiculously realized hook-hand that I mentioned
earlier. It is just so bad looking, one has to wonder whether the people
making this film even noticed it, and if they did, why they didn’t
do anything about it.
There is one bright spot to this film, and that would be lead actress
Beverly Garland. She totally sells her portrayal as both the friendly,
happy nurse Jane Marvin as well as the worried Joyce Webster committed
to finding her missing husband. A veteran of several earlier B films,
as well as having numerous other television and film credits, she brings
a touch of class and style to the film – something even the legendary
Lon Chaney Jr, fails to do. It seemed pretty evident that at this stage
of his career, old Lon was hitting the sauce pretty heavily and taking
just about any role that came along – most of them being parts
in low budget science fiction and horror films that took advantage of
his notoriety years earlier as the Wolf Man. While turning in an effectively
creepy performance as the lustful, crazy Manon; he still just seems
regulated to glorified set dressing.
One other positive element is the DVD transfer. Never have I seen an
old black and white film look so good and clean. Sure, there are some
imperfections, but considering that the film is over forty years old
and despite the dark lighting, I must congratulate Twentieth Century
Fox on their excellent presentation. The wide screen format is also
a blessing for those B film fans like myself that have suffered with
the pan and scan version of this film for years.
|
