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Shadow's Title: "American Idol - Undead Edition"

Quick buy:

After an opening quote from the play The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, by Christopher Marlowe, which is about a man who sells his soul to the devil for power and knowledge, the heavy metal music kicks in with a slow and steady tune from the band Fastway. A slow pan around a bedroom shows us all manner of things rock and roll related: books, magazines, more posters (Lizzy Borden, Anthrax, Ozzy, Raven, Twisted Sister) cassette tapes, studded leather belts and other fashion accessories, a Judas Priest calendar, a stereo with huge speakers and a shitload of those ancient things that we old folks called vinyl records. There are a few other things we see as the camera moves around the room to denote that a teenaged boy occupies this place. Hell, it looks a lot like my own room did back in the 80’s.

We are introduced to Eddie Weinbauer, who is writing a letter to his idol, rock star Sammi Curr. As we hear him narrate his letter, we are treated to various scenes of how Eddie is mistreated at school by the “cool” kids that bully him, lead by Tim Hainey. Eddie has got it pretty bad. Spilled milk and messed up hair are just the beginning. At one point he gets shoved bare assed out into the gym, where a bunch of girls playing volleyball can see him (including Leslie, whom he has the hots for) and worse, snap a photo of his pale cheeks. Suffice it to say, Eddie’s school life sucks. He considers Sammi a friend, the implication being that he has written to him before. It must come as a total bummer then, when a news report on TV informs Eddie that his idol has died in a hotel fire.

Eddie doesn’t take the news very well, thrashing his room in a display of teen angst and accompanied by another Fastway song. Pardon me while I roll my eyes at Eddie’s behavior, evidently rooted in his need to associate his own self worth with a celebrity. Cough, loser, cough.

Stopping at the local radio station on his way to school, Eddie visits DJ Nuke, who has also heard the news of Sammi’s passing. He tries to dissuade Eddie from his blind devotion to Sammi, but the teen is too far gone. To bolster his spirits, Nuke presents Eddie with a special album: Sammi Curr’s last recording. Only the one vinyl record exists and Nuke gives it to him as a present, planning on playing a taped copy on Halloween night at Midnight. Raise your hand right now if you can see trouble coming a mile away from that prospect. Playing it at 11:55 would probably be safe, but midnight? They’re boned.

Proceeding to school, Eddie’s pal Roger checks to make sure he’s okay, knowing how obsessed he is with Sammi Curr. Leslie approaches him and discreetly hands him the photo the girls took of his bare ass. She invites him to a pool party that night, and his mood improves. He shows up only to be met by Tim and his pals, who give Eddie a rash of shit for being there, questioning why he cannot be normal and telling him to get lost. This culminates in some gym weights being dropped in his backpack and him being dropped in the pool where naturally, he sinks straight to the bottom. Leslie shows up to fish him out, but thinking she set him up for such treatment, he storms off, wet and dripping with shame.

Swearing revenge – the only thing missing from his vow of vengeance was a fist waved angrily in the air – he returns home where he plays the Sammi Curr album given to him by Nuke. Apparently this action conjures up a dream where he sees the interior of a burning house, complete with people on fire that are dancing and Sammi Curr in a ring of flames accompanied by words being spoken backwards. Strange, cuz I’ve only experienced such things with Barry Manilow albums. Eddie awakes and plays with his stereo, pushing the record backwards and hearing what seems to be a personalized message straight from the depths of hell (definitely normal with Manilow).

The next day at school, heeding the advice imparted by the possessed record, Eddie sets up a plan where he antagonizes Tim and then leads him on a wacky chase through the entire school where wet floors, locked doors and other students all make for a series of pratfalls. Eventually, Tim sprays some teachers with a fire extinguisher, mistaking them for Eddie. Oops.

Later, Eddie tries to play the backwards message for Roger, who is less than impressed, considering it a cheap ploy by record company executives to get kids to destroy their albums and be forced to buy more. Roger leaves and Eddie plays with his stereo again and is able to communicate directly with the spirit of Sammi Curr, who wants to help Eddie seek revenge on his enemies. More cryptic clues are dispensed; making me wonder why evil spirits can’t just come right out and say what they want you to do. Can’t they be a bit more verbose than just a few mystifying words and statements?

Another day at school comes and again following Sammi’s advice, Eddie encounters Tim in a machine shop, where after nearly getting his ass handed to him by the angered bully, he watches as a lathe comes to life and snags Tim’s tie. Strange right? I mean, who wears a tie to school? This freak accident almost results in Tim getting his head crushed by the lathe’s tailstock. Bolstered by the sight of his enemy laid low, Eddie speeds home in his crappy car, blasting the Sammi Curr song backwards.

Meanwhile, while putting away his laundry, Eddie’s mom comes across some of his albums. Of special note here is an album seen on the shelf. A black cover with bright red lettering and a prominent upside down cross, it is none other that the debut album from Possessed, Seven Churches. I know, I know…most of you are going, “Who?” You see, Possessed was the name of the local speed/death metal band at my high school. Of the four members, two attended the school at the same time I did, while the others had graduated a year or two before I started. They had scored a recording contract with Combat Records and would open for bands like Venom, Slayer and Exodus in addition to headlining at a local dive known then as Ruthie’s Inn (long since gone). Thus, every head banging teen in the local audience knew who they were, and since the theater was packed when I saw this film, many people spotted the album from the local band up on the big screen and let out a holler. It was a supremely cool moment for us heavy metal geeks.

Eddie now decides to make a cassette copy of the final Sammi Curr album. He sets everything up, begins playing the album in reverse then speeds it all up so it only takes a few seconds to record one entire side of the album to tape. There is just one problem with this scene. We see the record speed up and spin super fast, with the needle moving inward, but if the record was playing in reverse, there is no way that could have happened. The grooves in the record’s vinyl rotate in a clockwise direction that causes the needle to move from the outer edge of the record to the center. If the record was spinning in reverse, the needle would not do this...it would simply move in the opposite direction and fall off the outer edge.

The next day at school he leaves the cassette for Tim as a peace offering. Tim brings the tape with him to the local lover’s lane that night where he’s making out with his girlfriend Genie. Having consumed several beverages, he exits the car to go pee. Meanwhile, Genie dons a Walkman (that’s what us old folks had before ipods) and pops in Eddie’s tape. While it plays, strange glowing smoke-like light emerges from the earphones while Genie starts touching herself and removing her clothes. Finally opening her eyes, she comes face to face with a creature best described as a cross between Gene Simmons and Gollum…and he’s here to get his freak on. When Tim finds her, she’s passed out and bleeding from the ears. He finds Eddie’s peace offering in the Walkman.

After a brief interlude with Ozzy Osbourne as a Reverend enraged by modern music, Tim arrives at Eddie’s house to accuse him of being responsible for Genie’s injuries. Sensing a bad vibe from Eddie and realizing that he is into some “weird shit,” Tim leaves. Eddie then confronts his possessed stereo, which allows him to communicate with Sammi. He asks about Genie and says that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but Sammi disagrees. They argue (yes, he argues with his stereo), Sammi threatens Leslie and then Eddie’s mom and finally when Eddie goes to pull the plug on the record player, he gets shocked and hurled across the room. Finally, after a light show, Sammi is able to manifest himself in physical form, popping into existence in a flash of light, electricity flowing up and down his body.

Sammi examines the room, which includes somehow killing Reverend Gilstrom through the television set. Damn, but too bad Judge Judy wasn’t on. I’d have loved to see her get the same treatment. Regarding his biggest fan, who is still sprawled on the floor, Sammi reminds him to be loyal to his heroes or they can turn on him. Then, poof, he’s gone. Eddie promptly seizes a baseball bat and destroys his stereo. When caught doing so by his mom, she grounds him. At least he got caught doing that and not other things teen boys tend to do alone in their rooms.

The next day, Eddie enlists Roger’s help with retrieving the evil cassette tape from Tim’s car. He tells Roger to destroy it once he’s obtained it. Roger, the ever dutiful friend, manages to lift the tape from Tim’s car, but does he destroy it? Oh, hell no. Roger takes it home and gives it a listen while making homemade milkshakes. This invokes the spirit of Sammi Curr, who materializes and threatens Roger with an unpleasant end if Roger doesn’t play the tape that night at the school’s Halloween dance. To stress his point, Sammi once again kills someone via the TV. This time he reaches directly into the screen and grabs PTA leader, Sylvia Cavell, an annoying old bat who looks like she went to school during the Johnson administration. The Andrew Johnson administration. Sammi pulls her from the TV and she emerges as a desiccated corpse which he casually throws aside, and which Roger is forced to vacuum up later.

Halloween night arrives and at the Weinbauer house, Eddie’s mom is going to a costume party with her balding boyfriend while grounded Eddie will stay home and dispense crappy candy to all the annoying trick or treating kids. At the school dance, Roger shows up and plays the tape. Leslie, who is also at the dance, calls Eddie at home. Over the phone he can hear the tape playing in the background and he freaks out. He rushes out the door, dives into his crappy car and roars away. Alas, the car’s radio turns on by itself and Sammi’s voice speaks to Eddie. Apparently, Sammi’s noncorporeal form can reside in any sort of radio or music-playing device. Sammi commandeers the car, taking Eddie on a Mr. Toad’s Wild ride-style race through town, complete with pedestrians nearly run over, scrapes with parked cars and even an explosion. Things come to end when he tries to drive the car off a bridge. Eddie is able to hot wire the car and bring it to a halt before he can take the big plunge. Abandoning the vehicle, he runs for the high school.

At the dance, the tape Roger put in the boom box is still playing. Since it is a backwards recording of Sammi Curr’s last song, everyone is just standing around looking at each other in confusion. Someone finally stops the tape and the principle introduces the band that will be playing live: The Kickers. They take the stage but before they can play, the lead singer/guitarist has trouble with some feedback. He bends down to adjust his amp settings and that’s when a hand emerges from within it and grabs him. POOF! He’s gone in a flash and now standing on stage is Sammi Curr himself, back from the dead and ready to rock!

Sammi starts pounding out a beat on his leg with his fist and before long the band joins in, launching into a song. I wonder why no one in the band questioned Sammi’s sudden appearance and/or the apparent demise of their former bandleader? Anyway, with Sammi on stage, the party is in full swing. The costumed crowd is on their feet, enjoying the music while Sammi lip syncs very badly and struts his stuff on stage. And I do mean strut. This guy leaps, jumps, sashays, swaggers and prances around more that an entire chorus line of gay men. Are you sure he’s supposed to be a heavy metal star? Even Prince isn’t that big of a homo on stage. Late actor Tony Fields’ background as a Solid Gold dancer can really be seen during this sequence.

The time comes for the big guitar solo (every 80’s heavy metal song had them) and Sammi grabs his axe and starts laying down the licks. His fingers and the fretboard seem to crackle with electricity and suddenly blasts of energy shoot out, annihilating members of the crowd. People begin running like hell, but more and more get zapped by Sammi, including the band’s drummer.

Eddie shows up at the dance as people come pouring out, screaming. Desperate to save Leslie, he rushes in, but not before telling Roger to go find the main breaker box and kill the power. Unaware of what is happening, Leslie is in the bathroom, changing clothes. Tim comes in, obviously drunk and tries to kiss her. She has the good sense to spurn his advances. Meanwhile, Eddie locates and destroys the tape that Roger played. Looking for Leslie, he runs into Tim. A few seconds later, Sammi appears, and using his power to manipulate electricity, fries Tim into oblivion. Eddie flees and finds Leslie. Sammi pursues them through the school and just as he is about to fry Eddie, Roger manages to kill the power. With no energy to draw upon to help maintain his physical form, Sammi vanishes.

Outside, the cops are very interested in talking to Eddie, but he decides to flee, Leslie following him. Eddie realizes that Sammi only appears when the backwards song is played. With all copies now destroyed, everything should be fine, but then he remembers that Nuke will be playing a copy at midnight (actually, a pre-recorded show will start playing at midnight, Gene Simmons having collected his check for this film and left long ago). He and Leslie run to his house, planning on using his mom’s car to get to the radio station, but it’s too late. The song goes out over the airwaves and Sammi appears and pursues them, zapping a cop into cinders in the process.

Eddie and Leslie make it to his house where he proceeds to destroy every radio in the place. Alas, he misses one and Sammi arrives. They manage to escape when Sammi trips over some debris and his hands slips into the toilet water. Unable to use his mom’s car (Sammi possesses it and drives it away) they use the police cruiser parked nearby. Can they make it to the radio station in one piece?

Note - It is at this point that the movie enters its final segment, so if any of you really feel the need to watch this film and not know the ending ahead of time, skip the rest of this section.

Arriving at the radio station, they enter to find burnt clothes in a chair behind a desk. This is what is left of the snoozing security guard. Beyond a window, the studio is alive with crackling energy and flying objects, all created by Sammi to protect the last copy of his song. Eddie grabs a small radio and runs outside. He tells Leslie to stay there and count to one hundred. If Sammi emerges from the building, she will have time to run. If he does not, Eddie wants her to run inside and destroy the tape. Finally able to man up, he leans in, kisses her and says that maybe he will see her later. That’s right! Always leave them wanting more! Eddie now jumps in the police car, straps in, starts it up and speeds away.

Zooming down the road like Speed Racer, Eddie taunts Sammi, reminding him that he was supposed to be rock’s chosen warrior, so he should show Eddie his stuff. Finally, after a few more generic insults, it is being labeled a “poser,” that causes Sammi to zap into existence in the back seat. Because of the grated barrier between them, Sammi cannot reach Eddie and choke the life out of him like he so desperately wants to do. The car races down the road, having reached a speed in excess of eighty-five miles an hour. Better hope that thing is not outfitted with a flux capacitor or both of them might end up in 1955 if they go much faster.

Back at the radio station, Leslie has reached one hundred. She grabs a lighting fixture from the driveway and wielding it like a club, charges into the building. At the same time, Eddie is driving the car off the same bridge he almost went off earlier. The car flies over the edge and plummets into the water. There are a few bursts of electrical energy, and then all is still. Sammi has been vanquished. Meanwhile, Leslie has entered the studio and using her makeshift weapon, not only destroys the Sammi Curr tape, but pretty much wrecks the whole reel to reel machine it is on.

Eddie returns to the radio station and kisses Leslie again. Then we see Eddie turning on the equipment, spinning dials and flipping switches. He talks into the microphone. “Wake up sleepy heads. It’s party time.” He pushes in a tape and begins playing music over the air.

The End.

Oh, yeah…be sure to watch the credits all the way to the very, very end.

This film is rather difficult to categorize. Is it a slasher film? Well, not really, though it does have a mad killer and a body count that rivals those found in slasher flicks. Is it a supernatural horror film? Well, despite messages from beyond the grave and a dead guy returning to life, this angle is not really used too much. Is it a revenge film? Again, not really. Sure, Eddie gets back at those who tormented him, but it’s all rather tame and not very…well, vengeful. The film certainly isn’t a comedy, though there are moments that will no doubt make you laugh, whether those laughs were intended or not. In the end, the film is all of those things and none of them. It borrows elements from all those fields, but doesn’t focus on any one area. Rather than being greater than the sum of its parts, it’s more like just a collection of elements tossed together.

It would be easy to say that this film sucks. It follows a predictable course in setting up its characters, their conflicts and the direction the story will take them. The characters themselves are thin and barely developed, conforming to stereotype and prior movie precedent all too often. The FX are really muted, limited to some cheap pyrotechnics and a few brief visual FX. Monsters? Blink and you may miss the only thing in the film that qualifies (and no, I don’t mean Gene Simmons). Horror fans will be disappointed at the lack of things like naked chicks, blood, guts, scares and atmosphere…you know, all the things that are almost standard in a horror film. Overall, a good first effort for a horror film, but nothing to jump up and down about.

Dino De Laurentiis, whose De Laurentiis Entertainment Group produced the film, openly claimed that he wanted to start his own horror movie franchise with this film, no doubt planning to have Sammi Curr return for further murderous rampages in much the same vein as Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger. Alas, that was not to be. While the film spoke to some teens, it was such a small, niche crowd that commercial success could not be built upon their support alone. That and the critical beating the film took by both critics and members of the target audience guaranteed a short, forgettable run in theaters. In the end, this was the only cinematic outing for Sammi Curr. However, for those in the audience that took a liking to the music, it lived on in the form of a highly desirable soundtrack album from the band Fastway. While long out of print, those who truly wish to own copies of the film’s music and don't wish to pay too much for it, need look no further than iTunes. That’s what I did.

Deaths: 14
Songs from Fastway in film: 6
Songs from Fastway on soundtrack: 9
Number of metal bands visually referenced: 13
Bare boobs: 6
Bare Butts: 1 (sadly, it is male)
Real life rockers top billed on DVD cover: 2
Percentage of film with real life rockers: 3.95%
Appliances destroyed by Eddie: 10
Possessed cars: 2
Explosions: 6
Possible product placements: 8

Shadow's Drinking Game: Every time the name and/or logo for an 80’s metal band is spotted, whether it be a poster, sticker or whatever, take a drink.

Eddie writing a letter to his idol.

Eddie:“Airheads and braindeads are everywhere. Who needs them? What do they have that I need?

Shadow’s comment: Um…a life?

Roger lectures Eddie on backwards masking..

Roger: “You have fallen for the biggest gimmick in the record industry…eh...some ad exec somewhere thought up the idea of hidden lyrics so that pinheads like Eduardo Weinbauer would fuck up their records playing them backwards and then have to go buy more. Dude, wake up.”

Shadow’s Comment: Indeed and when you are finally able to make out those backwards messages, what do they say? Hail Satan? Kill your parents? Nope. More like, “congrats, dumbass on screwing up your record. Now go buy another.

Tim warns Leslie about Eddie.

Tim: “He tried to kill me…and he put Genie in the hospital with his voodoo witchcraft or whatever the hell it is.”

Shadow’s Comment: So he’s a scientologist?

• Metalheads belong to a persecuted social stratum.
• Scratching was invented by dorky white kids.
• Wearing a tie near a lathe almost guarantees a near fatal accident of some kind.
• Home audio dubbing must be preceded by the lighting of ceremonial candles.
• Drums of flammable and/or explosive material are best stored outdoors in wide open spaces.
• Electric guitars are named so because they actually fire bolts of electricity.
• Ghosts are powered by electricity.
• People will literally explode when exposed to enough direct electrical current.

I saw this film in the theater when it first opened, perhaps even on opening night itself. I remember the sizable crowd in the theater to see the film. I clearly recall all the shouting from the males in the audience when Genie was about to lose her bra and expose her breasts. I remember the lively discussion my friend Mike and I had afterwards on the relationship between Metalhead and Preppie posited in the film. Since the metalheads and headbangers at our school were all badass and took crap from no one, we agreed that no self respecting metal fan would tolerate such crap from morons like Tim Hainey (of course we were overlooking the simple fact that we were exactly like Eddie at the time). However, one thing I do not recall seeing was any TV ads for the film. I don’t remember knowing about the film before seeing it. I just remember being in the theater and seeing it. I guess old age is creeping up on me faster than I thought if I cannot recall those details.

Shadow's rating: Five Tombstones

The Good

• Awesome 80’s metal
• Adequate FX
• Ozzy as a TV evangelist
• Tim Hainey makes good nemesis
• Bare boobies!

The Bad

• Film is visually dark and hard to see at times
• Not enough blood, guts and naked chicks for a R-rated film
• 80’s fashion and hairstyles are cringe-worthy

The Ugly

• In real life no one rocks out to a song playing backwards...no one
• Sammi Curr a little to girly-man for a metal star
• Sammi too similar to Freddy Krueger sans child killer angle

This review is part of the B-Movies That Rock! Roundtable. Be sure to click the banner and read all the other great reviews.

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